.:: .:.: :. You mean the world to God .: .:: :..

:.. He says He loves you more than anything & you mean the world to Him .:.:

.::. He'd do anything for you and He died on the cross to prove it :. .::


..:: When I was 6 years old, my sister told me a story about the lost sheep .::.

.: God had a hundred sheep in His flock ::.

.:.. At the end of the day, when He has brought them home, He would count them to make sure they were all there .::

.:.: One day, He found that there was only ninety-nine and it was already getting late .:

..: Nevertheless, He left the ninety-nine to look for that one which was lost .::.

..::. He searched until it was dark and finally, He heard its cries coming from the valley :..

.:.. He went towards it and found the little lamb wounded and hungry .::.

::. He moved away the rocks and carried it in His arms .:..

.: He embraced it as He said, " I will never give up until I find you. " ..:.: :..


.:: ..: ::. God has only one craving, one dream, one desire - that is you ..: ::.

Friday, March 21, 2008

1 month's anniversary

I just realized it has been 1 month since Matt broke up with me^^ Come, let's celebrate! Cheers to all the hurting hearts out there :) ..you're not alone - you've got me! =D

No, I was just kidding- seriously.. Okay..

Lord, here's a moment to thank You for:
  • a second chance - to straighten up, aligning my path with Your will for my life^^ Thank You so much for a second chance, I couldn't thank You enough.. if You have let me gone ahead with this relationship, I would have missed out on the rest of my life with You, doing Your will - going to Aus. And there is nothing, I repeat, nothing, that can replace a life spent with You and doing Your will.

  • two families - that although this relationship didn't work out, I still had a new pair of parents I prayed for, and an additional younger bro included into that package - this temporary relationship was so worth it. I would have done it all again, if I get to keep this wonderful package^^

    My natural family - if I went ahead with this relationship, I don't think I would get to keep my current family in the future because Matt doesn't really like them - thanks to my bad mouthing my own family - a high price to pay. But because the relationship didn't work out, guess what - I'm stuck wif 'em. I guess Aussie would be a good chance for me to really rebuild my bonds with them. And learn to love 'em.. and stop bad mouthing them!!

  • the experience - although I believe that experience doesn't necessarily mean increased maturity. In this case, I'll let God be the judge. I don't know if I have learned anything and matured from this relationship, but I know that what the book said ('How to deal with your broken heart' by Susan Tang) is right in the last page, where it says that our lives are broken so that it may be poured out for others. Like the five loaves and two fish that were broken into so many pieces - I know this experience I have gained will help many more broken hearts one day :) At least I can say, "been there, done that!" and yes, "you're not alone." ^^

  • happy memories - the relationship brought memories.. happy memories, but I shall not talk about them. It's just not right to talk about them. One thing, I have to admit - 'It is easier to give up than to let go' (by Anna). Giving up on the relationship is easy, but letting the person go isn't..

    And it's not easy forgetting nice memories.. It's hard to even want to forget them.. The hard part about letting go someone is the memories.. When you want to 'let go everything to God, it includes the nice memories as well, and nice memories are harder to let go, because they're so nice to keep..

    But when we keep nice memories, that's when 'false hope' appears - 'false hope' is created by nothing but the desire for something you cannot have. And happy memories intensifies that desire, which gives birth to 'false hope'. This is why letting go of happy memories play such an important part in letting go a person.

    So, as soon as you let go of happy memories, you kill that false hope permanently.

    Nevertheless, I thank God they were mostly happy memories, and not sad, because then I would have to deal with something else - hurt and rejection issues, which intensifies self-hatred and.. gives birth to sin in the long-run. The process is kind of long-winded - don't even get me started.

    So, thank You, Lord for happy memories instead of sad ones - although there were a few sad ones here and there, but those were less than 10% to me.. and I am not letting the devil use that 10% to ruin my life - although he is trying to.

    Oh, and I could already imagine the mess God and I would have to clear up if there were 90% sad memories instead! Thank You, Lord, for sparing me that agony.. I guess You didn't let me go through with it because I probably wouldn't have made it back onto my feet - by then, I would be good for nothing but to be crushed and burned.. because I am already having a hard time to get over happy memories - how much more effort I would need and how much stronger I would have needed to be if they were sad memories!

  • Your grace - I've failed You so many times, but Your love for me - it never fails. I don't deserve Your grace. I have forsaken You too many times.. and You never forsook me once. I have gone astray from You too often - and I don't even know how You can accept me back. I don't deserve it.

But I just want to say thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Daddy.. Thank You, Holy Spirit.. I love You..

* tRUST & OBey the LORD *
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