.:: .:.: :. You mean the world to God .: .:: :..

:.. He says He loves you more than anything & you mean the world to Him .:.:

.::. He'd do anything for you and He died on the cross to prove it :. .::


..:: When I was 6 years old, my sister told me a story about the lost sheep .::.

.: God had a hundred sheep in His flock ::.

.:.. At the end of the day, when He has brought them home, He would count them to make sure they were all there .::

.:.: One day, He found that there was only ninety-nine and it was already getting late .:

..: Nevertheless, He left the ninety-nine to look for that one which was lost .::.

..::. He searched until it was dark and finally, He heard its cries coming from the valley :..

.:.. He went towards it and found the little lamb wounded and hungry .::.

::. He moved away the rocks and carried it in His arms .:..

.: He embraced it as He said, " I will never give up until I find you. " ..:.: :..


.:: ..: ::. God has only one craving, one dream, one desire - that is you ..: ::.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Confession time

It is always when I am at my peak in my relationship with God, that a guy comes up and pulls me away from God.

Why? Why is it that the devil so seeks to destroy my relationship with God? He does not seem to try so hard with other people - just me, it seems =.=

I hate it. I hate it that every single time, he comes up with new people but the same old way and I keep falling for it- over and over again. When will it ever stop? Every time, I think it is the last time, but it isn't. Sigh. When will I ever grow up? When will I ever pass this test? And why do I keep failing? Have I not learned? After all these years? Why, Anna? Why do you keep falling for guys..

It's called hope - false hope.

Sigh. Whatever it's called. It's still there, and I have to eliminate it. I have to.

Dear blog-readers.. I implore you - if I ever ever ever fall in love with another guy again, and even if I am dead sure, positive that it is God's will, I implore you, remind me of Matt. Remind me that this kind of life - the life where two becomes one, is not for me - it never was. No matter how much I want it, no matter what my natural inclinations are, it just was not meant for me. My life is destined - I am to be like Miss A and the woman who wrote that beautiful life changing book.. I am to be single for the rest of my life- with or without the gift.

It's not something I want. It is something I realized. I am not saying this out of hurt or rejection or anger against the guys.. no, nothing like that - I am simply saying this because I have studied their lives and I know - the similarities I have with them, and it is evident to me (this is not the first time I thought of it, either), that God just wants me for Himself, and will not settle with me going out with another guy other than Him. He's just too jealous. Too very jealous.

This is my life, people.. it's destined. And girls, if you are reading this and say in your heart that you wish you won't be like me, guess what - the possibilities is higher that you just might very well be the next candidate- because the more you want it, the more you were not meant for it. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, to those of you who are similar to me, but.. it's just a matter of time that you'd realize the same thing, anyway.. At least you have someone to tell it to you before you go through anymore than I have..

I implore you,.. I implore you.. I implore myself, more like it.. just give up, Anna.. that life was never meant for you. The next guy you're gonna fall in love with is just another test - so, don't say I didn't warn you. Just avoid whoever it may be.. and run for dear life.. you are not going to fail again. I'm not going to let you fail again.

I can't imagine falling for another guy and going through this again.. what's up with you, Anna? Haven't you had enough? It's about time it all end!!!!!!!!


* tRUST & OBey the LORD *
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