Last of 2008-2011

It's the last day of the year and it's time for me to tell you my successes, what I've accomplished this year and what I've learned, so here goes nothin' but my ramblings... because what you're going to read is in fact, my failures.

First off, it's been the shortest year for me - every year seems to get shorter - don't ask why, I have no clue. I guess it's because I'm enjoying a little bit more and more of my life. But the exact things that have caused me joys this year have caused me pains. I now end this wonderful year with a season of trials as I painfully learn from my errors. Everything has left me but in a daze and I honestly don't even want to reflect back on this years' blissful happenings.

To cut the long story short, I've had an amazing year because of a wonderful friend that I was just so caught up with for the past 4 years that I really never realized that this friendship was never from God in the first place. It was a one-sided friendship and he never really thought of me the same way I thought of him. All this while, he was probably just bearing with me. He never really saw me as a best friend although he meant the world to me. I've just been so disillusioned.

Now that I know that I am only a second-class friend, I've decided not to spend so much time with him anymore, not be a 'part of his family' anymore, not go to his house so often anymore. I did speak to his mother about this but she said "Anna, make sure that you don't come here so rarely until you are no more a part of us and until we are not used to you anymore or.. we become nothing but acquaintances." I just grunted. I didn't say anything because I am prepared to let go of everything, even if that means we will be nothing but acquaintances.

How can the very people who mean the world to me end up as an acquaintance? I was driving to PD from KL and I realized that there were a few stops on the way - the Sungai Besi Toll, Kota Kemuning, Nilai, Banting, Seremban, Springhill and then Lukut, which is in PD. I took the roads leading towards Sungai Besi and then realized that I was supposed to follow the signboards heading towards Seremban and Malacca instead of Sungai Besi although Sungai Besi was a milestone. Then I headed towards Kota Kemuning and got trapped somewhere at UPM because I was focused on them instead of Seremban and Malacca.

In the end, the lady at the toll there had to tell me to follow Johore Bharu - she mentioned it twice in Malay, "Follow Johore Bharu; Follow Johore Bharu". It was almost as if she was definite that I would turn aside. She was right. In no time, I saw the sign that said, "Alternate route to Seremban" totally leading me astray from the way that led to Johore Bharu. Then I realized how important messages from my mentors meant to me and I learned to appreciate their advice. Sometimes, I may not understand why they may be so hard on me - keep telling me the same things over and over but now I know - because they are so used to me getting distracted from my real focus - the Cross.

But the biggest lesson of all is that I was so preoccupied with the milestones that I wasted so much time there because I thought that if they were milestones then they would lead me to my destination - but the problem with milestones is that they are not the destination - they might not even be pitstops - they are just landmarks that I have to pass by - something to tell me that I'm heading in the right direction. But when I start to get caught up with them, then that's where my mistake lies - I am so caught up with the signs that You have positioned in my life -the little milestones - the wonderful people that You have put in my life so much that I stop and hang around so long with them that I am totally distracted from my journey - no, my journey was not supposed to end with them. They were just pleasant people You have put in my life to encourage me and to assure me that I am headed in the right direction - that I am following You correctly. I really shouldn't get so caught up until I can't move forward anymore.

For the past 4 years, I have been spending my time with this family who have really enriched my life in so many ways, and they mean so much to me, but really - they are just milestones - they are not my future. I don't have a future with them. You only put them here to bless me but now I have to move on. I cannot think that I will spend the rest of my life with any of them - I will not. It's time I said goodbye.

Yes, the friendship continues, but it is really hard for me at the moment to see them because the pain is just cutting in so deeply. All I can be is just a normal friend. Every time I see him,.. sigh. You know what I mean? All I can be is a good friend, but I really have to learn to control my emotions. Because when I see him I can get disillusioned so easily to think that he thinks of me as such a dear friend, when he actually doesn't. It's just something about him that keeps making me think that he needs me and wants me to be his close friend. That's all untrue. He doesn't need me - it was me who needed him the whole time. He has friends of his own and his computer games - he really doesn't need me and in fact, I wonder if he even realizes that I am gone. When I see the way he treats his REAL friends, I feel like a second-class friend.

To give up this one thing is to give up everything. So here goes everything...

PS: Jesus, take him - he's yours. And when I give, I won't ask back anymore. I know You want my heart and You want all of it. You know how much he means to me, so this is all of it. And there's nothing else in my heart - just this one thing.. it's filled up my whole heart. If You want my heart, I will give it to You - this is not sacrifice - this is merely obedience. I just hope I never fill my heart with anything else again but You because this is the most expensive price I've yet to pay for my mistakes. Please help me - I can't do this on my own. I need You.


* tRUST & OBey the LORD *

My heart for the ministry

Let me share something with you - every now and then, I see hundreds of young women lined up to be prayed for in a huge rally - crying, and me, praying for each one of them, crying with them, hugging them, ministering to them for inner healing. And I see their skin colour - they are not Chinese but they are Asians - I just don't know from which Southeast Asian country but they are tan and understand English. And something in me tells me that it is Philippines.

I have this strong feeling that I will be going to Philippines next year to minister to young people for a short time and then come back. I just don't know how or why. And lately I've had the invitation to go to Philippines about 3 times next year, 2 weeks each time, but I don't know what I am supposed to do there. I do hope that I will get the invitation to speak or pray for young women - youth. I think this is my calling. I don't know if it is just my calling for next year or my calling for my entire life - to minister to young people, but it is really burdening me right now and I think about it every now and then - something really aches me inside - I feel so much compassion for them - makes me want to go over there and pray for them right now.

And I keep asking God - God, when can I go? I want to minister to young people. I want to pray for them, lay hands on them, prophesy over them, cry with them, love them, give them a hug and tell them how much Jesus loves them and that everything is okay - that they don't have to cry anymore because there is a Father who really understands and loves them for who they are - that they don't have to be somebody they are not - that God created them perfect and how much He loves them - let Him heal their broken hearts, heal their hurts and rejection or whatever it is that they have.

This is my heart.

* tRUST and; OBey the LORD *

Sis Milla

I met a new person. Sister Milla - a Filipino from the US. She runs 7 companies. But it's really not about that.

It's the way she preaches - her passion for the Lord and for the souls. It's overwhelming. That was the first thing that really caught my attention - it was her passion - it set the whole room on fire.

It is very rare that I listen to someone preaching and such a passion burns in my heart and burns my soul from within, burns my eyes - it makes me feel like a sinner on one hand, and on the other hand - it makes me so desperate for that same passion. It's contagious.

The last time I heard such a preacher was Pastor Philip Mantofa from Indonesia. And that was because of his experience with the Lord, or so I thought. That deep passion burned and burned and burned. And in my heart, I can't stop the burning. Just remembering his preaching and seeing his tears and hearing his cry is a life transforming encounter.

Today was it again. She preached at the Kingdom Club. And just as we expected, she caught everyone's attention. I wanted to just soak up every word. I knew it wasn't her words. It reminds me a lot of the prophet Elijah - a pure mouthpiece of God - spoken every Word like it was spoken from the heart of God. This is something supernatural. It cannot be explained and definitely cannot be copied.

The Words were sharp. It really wasn't about her. It was about the things she said that pierced my heart. She talked about the way we work is a worship unto God - we must not cut corners. Sometimes, when I teach my kids, I kind of slack - I may not prepare my lessons well, then when the kids slack and waste time, I tend to let them have a go at it, then I keep looking at my watch and drag my feet to class almost every time.

She showed us the structure - the structure of Mighty Dove Foundation. I want to start a Millionaire Missionary Foundation. I want at least 7 companies of my own - here, let me tell you what the companies are:

Anna Grace Group of Companies Includes:

1. Blueberry and Cinnamon Cafe - Franchise, Food Industry
2. Annagrace Boutique - Franchise, Fashion Industry
3. Double One Hotel - MNC, Travel and Tourism Industry
4. Furniture Factory -  MNC; Design, Manufacturing and Logistics Industry
5. Underground Shopping Mall - Retail Industry
6. Handphone and Internet Service Provider - Telecommunications Industry
7. Property Developer - Real Estate Industry

This is aside from the company I own at the moment. This company that I am having now is in the midst of experimentation - because of the school that I want to build and I want this Anna Grace Group of Companies to fund my school. This is why my school is not included in this group of companies. The companies in AGC are all floating companies.

The Millionaire Missionary Foundation is to fund:

1. The Garden of Gethsemane and other schools
2. Pastors, Leaders and Missionaries
3. Charity and other mission work

Plus, I want to adopt Sis Milla's Diagram of Stewardship in these four areas: Word, Health, Wealth, and I can't remember what's the fourth one.

When we were at home, I went up to her as she was saying her goodbyes because she will be leaving tomorrow and I probably will not get the chance to see her again. I went up to her and I said, "Thank you for the anointing." She said, "I know, I was talking to you the whole time I was up there. I was talking to you." And I said, "I claim it. I claim the anointing."

But while she spoke to me, she prophesied without planning to. I always wanted that to happen to me - it's like God really wanted to talk to me so much.

She said, "By the end of next year, some people who were in that room, a lot of people who are in your church will be millionaires. Anna, you are coming out of the practice phase. Before the end of next year, you are going to see the finances pouring in. The practice is over. In fact, not just next year but in the next few months, you will begin to see it happening. This is the real thing. Practice is over. All this time, you have been laying the foundations and laying down the groundwork of how it is supposed to be done. The way you were doing it is correct. And the new phase is coming when you will see the finances pouring in."

And all I said was.. "Alright."

But I was in the shower and thinking - maybe she will want to invest. Then again, I think it totally defeats the purpose of it all - where's the fun if she just wrote me a cheque to cover it all? The whole point is about the journey. I have to discover it on my own. I have to get there by myself. I cannot take her money and invest it. That totally defeats the whole purpose - it wasn't about the money. It was about my journey with the Lord - my training.

If I could ask her for something, I'd rather ask her for the anointing to make that money than the money. I rather have the power to get wealth than the wealth. Then I thought again - no. There's something from her that I want more than the anointing. I want the passion - her passion for God.

I remember she was saying that the Word of God is like ice cream. We have to swim in it. We have to hear His breath breathing into our ears, His heartbeat. She was so close to the heart of the Father that I'd think she would disappear anytime and went missing like Enoch. I won't be surprised. Yes, it was that relationship I want - not the anointing, and definitely not the wealth.


* tRUST & OBey the LORD *

Personal Prophecy

I am going to show you the destiny of youth because of the school that you want to build. You will be able to see their calling and their purposes.

2nd September 2011
When I gave birth(life) to you, it was for a purpose. I am calling you to reach out to youth in every sphere of society - go to the nations and reach out to different kinds of youth in every nation. Forget about the school for a while and just minister to them, minister to their needs, see their hearts and reach out to them. After that, you can build the school.

Don't look down on yourself or think that you are incapable of doing it. There is going to be a new wind of revival spirit that will carry you through to a new place. I am bringing forth that wind of revival, even now, at this moment, I am bringing into Southeast Asia - a new wave of my spirit. And it will even touch the hearts of youth right now. I am using you, I am sending you forth - go and catch this wave of revival and bring it back to my people. Behold, I am sending you. And I will send with you a team - a team that will go with you to bring that revival back. Go - and do not be hard hearted when you see the things appearing before you. But go with the fullness of Christ.

I am sending you as a light in a dark place. Don't be weary when you see the sudden change of events taking place in your family and with the people around you. I am causing a new thing to birth forth in the spiritual realm and it will affect the physical realm, even as it will affect you. It is the last days, says the Lord, and I am bringing all these things to past. At last, every knee will bow and tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord of all.

Behold, your heart will not grow faint and will not grow weary - I am the deciding factor that will bring you to reach your fullest potential. I am the Alpha and the Omega. I will see to it. I will determine what will happen, not you. I will increase your joy and your fullness. Behold, I am doing a new thing.

I didn't call you to evangelize. You have a specific calling - I am calling you to touch the hearts of youth across the nations. I am calling you to minister to My heart by ministering to these people because these people have a special place in My heart and I am calling you to them. You have touched a special place in God's heart. And this is what He wants for the youth. He wants you to touch their hearts too.

Be fruitful and multiply in every place that I have sent you. I will go before you.

You will see things and greater things than these will you see. Do not be afraid of what you will see - behold! I am doing a new thing. And I will use young men and young women to bring these things to past, saith the Lord. They will create such a revival that this world has never seen before and it will start with them. Behold, I am doing a new thing.

It is in this time and in this season that you will see greater things happening. Behold, I am fulfilling it!

* tRUST & OBey the LORD *

25th Birthday Prophecy

By Joshua Sim

There is a decision that you are about to make and it is a very important decision, and God says that He wants you to make it a bold decision. Don't be afraid of the decision that you are about to make. He says you know what is the right decision to make and it is a long-term decision and it will determine your future.

By Linda Sim

There are opportunities for you, coming your way. And God will prosper you. You will reach a new level of intimacy with God. You are going to have such an intimacy with God.

By Faith

Open doors, God will open windows of opportunity for you, God is going to bless you.



* tRUST & OBey the LORD *

it really doesn't matter

Today was a bit interesting. Skipped dinner - didn't feel like eating. (Still haven't eaten, btw.) Hungry, yes, just no appetite. Woke up with a broken heart. No idea why.

Went to school to take the worship because today's Monday and at the end of everything, Phoebe asked me, "Anna, I feel really down today. Any idea why? Like, really, really down."

So I was like.. "Hmm... you're very sensitive.."

"Why?"

"Erm.. you were down when you woke up or as soon as you came?"

"Erm... as soon as I came."

"Oh.. I know why already," I grinned and retreated to my work.

"Why?"

I looked back at her, "well..." felt kinda uneasy, really didn't want to say it, because I knew it was my fault, "must be because of me."

"Why because of you?"

"Umm.. I woke up down.. erm.. yeah.. and I guess when you came in you could feel it, that's why I said, 'You're very sensitive'."

And she was like.. "err.... okay." And went off to class.

"Don't worry, you'll feel better when you get into the class," I called out behind her.

So I thought for a moment and wondered how terrible worship must've been for her to feel so down and it never picked up since she walked in. Felt really guilty.

Then You spoke to me about the brokenness and that I had to really give You my heart and let You keep it. And if anyone wants my heart, he'd just have to ask You for it, and You will only give it to the one that is deserving. I've had my share of broken heartedness and I believe it's enough.

The day continued and I found myself really tired the rest of the time - physically tired. Not sure if it was due to the physical pain I had because of muscle strain from the dance classes or because of the emotional pain I felt in my heart along with it the entire day. By the end of it, I gave up my replacement class with my student in Cheras because I was just too tired and hardly feeling well. I knew that if I continued to the end of the day, I would return home half dead, probably sleeping on the wheel, even. Plus, by the time I reached home, it would've been about ten-ish - late.

So I laid down on the bed and chatted with You a bit. And then You told me, "Jesus Loves you" And suddenly that really meant so much to me.. love. Was I really that loved? Wow.. It was like something I would want to paste all over facebook. I actually know what that means now.

Then, since I skipped dinner, I resorted to worshiping on my guitar. Even skipped a meeting my dad asked me to go to because he saw me stealing my laptop away from the living room while everyone else plus guests ate at the dining.

While worshiping, many things crossed my mind. Family members, leaders,.. Sigh. The horrendous moments I've had and the pressure on all sides. Sigh. Just thinking of it makes me sigh. So that's how my worship went.. hard-going at first, trying to figure out what my problem really was. And then it came...

I decided not to care anymore - what people said, what they thought of me - no matter who they were - family members, 'mentors', 'leaders', etc. I didn't care anymore. It's not that I didn't respect, honor and all. It's just that nobody's perfect. They say things that probably were not from You anyway. Not everything they say is true. I just have to learn to hear for myself. Certain things like.. "Why worship so loud in your room until everyone outside can hear you?" So I tried to keep it down. Or.. "What's wrong with you? Why did your worship leading go down?" "Have you been having your personal worship? How often have you had it?" All the negative thoughts came back to haunt me during my worship. How terrible is that? How to worship like that?! I couldn't do it. I felt terrible. Useless. Guilty, even, for singing so 'loud'.

I really didn't know what was wrong with me. So it came to a point in my worship when I couldn't care less anymore what they said and I just went on, and on and on and on and on... with all my heart, with all my strength, and I couldn't be bothered whether anyone outside the room heard me or not. I really couldn't be bothered anymore. I didn't care if I sang the same lines over and over and over again, or if I sang one 'meaningless' gibberish that didn't even make a word and was more of a sound than speech at the same tone continuously. Just couldn't be bothered anymore. But when I did that, I felt that I was getting somewhere..

And then I suddenly felt that You were pleased with my worship. For once. Not that it was a worship song, it was really a song about me.. "I need more of You, more of You" (and I felt guilty singing that song, really because it wasn't a worship song, so there it is again..) And then as I just played and played the guitar.. something hit me.. I started to cry. Just pouring my heart out, the pain, the hurts, the disappointment... everything.. like I was emptying my recycle bin.

Then something else came, "You are beautiful".. You said to me. It made me feel happy but I really thought I was getting distracted by nonsense, so I shoved it aside.

A vision appeared before me. I saw the boutique I really liked last time - Somerset Bay, in 1U. I have no idea why I saw it, but I did. And I saw a father who took a girl to pick out a dress. And as soon as that vision hit me, I started to cry. And as usual,.. I had no idea why I cried. But I saw her picking out her dress with glee but most of all, it wasn't about her. It was about her father that made me cry. I had no idea who they were. It's not like my own dad didn't take me out to buy dresses, he did. But this wasn't about that. It was the expression on his face and his attitude towards his daughter - he treated her like a princess.

What was it I missed? Wasn't I treated well? I really thought I was, really.. What was missing? Why did I cry?

Being humans, we try to reason out everything. But really, not everything was made to be reasoned out.

I couldn't figure it out. So I just played my guitar and went on..

Then I saw my own dad taking me to the changing room, but, no, it wasn't a dress. It was long white jeans and a light blue, long-sleeve polo shirt. All beggy, too. And there, I burst into the most awful cry ever.

Now.. this was not a memory. This never happened to me. It really wasn't something I was remembering. My dad didn't do that to me. What just happened? Why am I crying?

There it went again.. I was trying to reason out everything. Didn't work. Still couldn't figure it out.

So I brought You in to help me figure it out. And as I looked at myself in the mirror with the jeans and shirt nicely tucked in as I stood there, totally shocked. You stood behind me, smiling.

Smiling. That still didn't make sense. But it made me feel good. Why? (trying to reason again)

Because You were smiling at the person inside. It really had nothing to do with what I wore.

"He saw me wearing guy clothes and smiled at me. It really doesn't matter, does it?"

* tRUST & OBey the LORD *

it's them

Come, let me tell you the pressures that I am really facing right now. Let me be honest and tell you the truth. Almost all my mentors are pressuring me to get married but the problem is no one is chasing me. Is it really my fault that I don't have a boyfriend? Their words echo, sinking into my head.

"Anna, you're getting older..", "You're old enough to get married, la...", "I want you to get married by 26...", "Do you want me to recommend anyone to you?", "Ask someone to recommend to you some guys...", "Anna, why don't you want to get married?", "You're getting older, you know that?"

Argh! I never thought this day will arrive but it finally did. The truth? Well, here's the truth:

I feel so hopeless right now. It's really not that I don't want to get married but I don't even have anyone on my list to consider, except for two really 'hopeless' guys that i wouldn't even want to put in my list, even if they had a big crush on me. (Trust me. Not ever going to be in the list.. EVER!)

And then there's this guy.. that I so really want to be with right now but will probably never have the chance with. I don't know but since I have nothing to loose anyway, I thought I might as well wait.. not like I have other options available, right? Why wait? Well, firstly because I don't go around chasing guys. Secondly, because I believe that if he's God's will for me that he'll come around. And thirdly,.. well... thirdly, because he's not my age.

There, you got me.. So I have to like wait super long but I guess it'll be worth it. It's really not that I am waiting but rather.. I got nowhere else to go anyway, so it's not that I'm being fussy. Plus, I just can't have feelings for anyone else the same way, so this is it, really. I think I've made my mind. And if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. I don't mind a life being single forever. It's not me who will be disappointed anyway... it's them.




* tRUST & OBey the LORD *

Advise myself

girls want guys who can be respected, is mature and yet loves them

This is what I told my students.. then I wondered.. how hard can it be to find a guy whom I respect and yet loves me? I guess it's mainly because of two reasons: one, I hardly respect guys. Secondly, not many guys love me. So that leaves me with two questions:

1. What kind of guys do I have respect for?
2. Why is it so hard for guys to like me?

The first is easy to answer: I find it hard to respect older guys because my expectation of them is much higher than who they really are. But I respect younger guys easily because I basically don't place any expectations on them. It can even go to the extend of hearing a guy's age and immediately loosing my respect for them just because they are older - like.. being old means being dumb and unreasonable.

But why is it so hard for guys to like me? This, I honestly have no idea - what do guys really look for? I see the girls around me being admired by guys, and these girls have so diverse personalities that really makes me wonder.. what is it in these girls that captures the hearts of guys? From the really popular girls to the sweetest and purest girl. I have no idea what it is that makes guys do anything for. It just doesn't make sense to me, and it's not like these guys really know these girls before they are head over heels in love with them. They say girls are complicated, but it seems to me that girls are so easy to understand - they only want guys whom they respect to like them - what is so hard about that? But guys.. I really don't understand.

Do guys want girls whom they respect as well? Maybe not in the same areas but in other areas? What are the areas that guys will respect a girl in? Looks? Does that mean that I must get a guy who looks uglier than me? Eww~ perhaps.



* tRUST & OBey the LORD *

Which path to take after SPM?

Your parents have chosen a course that will most probably lead to great wealth and I have nothing against that. But it breaks my heart to see the path that they have chosen for you. I know your parents are godly people. They love God and have given their entire lives to serving God. They have suffered a lot in this world and are very concerned about your financial well being. But here I am concerned, about everything else.

One thing you have to know is that God wants your time more than your money. He rather you give him your time than to use that time to make money and then give him the money. It will only please me one day to see you involved in the ministry, giving both your time and your money to God. Because your whole life belongs to Him anyway. Nothing here belongs to us. Everything we have in this world is only borrowed. We came into this world naked and we go back naked. We carried nothing in and we will carry nothing out. You cannot carry anything back - not your favourite pillow, not your best shirt in your closet - nothing. Money is not something you can bring to heaven.

I am richer than you because I have given up everything - my life and my money for the kingdom of God. And my riches are in heaven. But you, you can earn all the money in this world, but you cannot bring it back. What good is it to a man if he was to gain the whole world and lose his own soul? The riches in this world is only temporary. But the riches in heaven lasts forever. So in the end, what can you bring back? Only what you have done for God and your relationship with God. Spend your life building up your relationship with God, because when you go to heaven, that is the only thing that matters. That's the only thing you really bring back. That's the only thing that God wants to see. Even if you spent your whole life serving God in the ministry, all the things that you do for God in your entire lifetime added up cannot compare to the importance of your relationship with Him. To God, it is all about your relationship with Him. He doesn't need your money, doesn't even need your life or your ministry. Just your love.

The Bible said it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God because he has everything to give up and he has to give up everything. What's the use of money but for the kingdom of God? God will only give you money if you have something to use it for. If not, why should he give it to you? Is there something you have in mind to use the money for? Did he tell you that He wants that money? Then what is that money for? If you don't know, then don't work for it. You're just wasting your life. It is better for you having not lived than to spend your whole life on money instead of investing it in the kingdom of God. That will be one really wasted life because in the end, it will amount to nothing.

Yes, we can buy luxurious things, but only keep what belongs to us. You have to know that the money that God gives you does not belong to you. Take only what you need. With great wealth comes great responsibility, terms and conditions. And until and unless God has called you into that ministry of drawing in the wealth, then I do not suggest you do it for the rest of your life because just as entering the full time ministry is a calling, so entering the marketplace ministry is a calling, not a last resort. Always be sure you know your calling. We both know your brother was called into the marketplace, but not so sure about you.

Everything we do is all about calling. If God didn't call, don't go. If their motive in choosing that course for you is for the money and if your main motive of choosing that course is because that is what your parents want you to do then I suggest you fast and pray about it before you make such a major decision based on - if I may - shallow reasons. I think it is about time you hear God for yourself than to depend on your parent's relationship with God. If you can't hear God, then you are in a very dangerous place. And if this doesn't concern you, nothing will. The most basic foundation in Christianity is the ability to hear from God independently. Work on that and all your problems are solved. And if you need help, you know I'm always here to help you. This is the most important thing in life. I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Riches. Riches are only good for one thing - to give. And if you are not the generous type, then this is not your calling. The most important thing about receiving greatly is the ability to give greatly. That's how you know if you have that calling. That's how I knew I had the calling for the marketplace. Is generosity one of your gifts? If it isn't, you have two choices - you either work on your giving or you find out your true calling. If you don't do that, you are heaping up curses for yourself which you wouldn't want. There are tons of verses in the Bible against rich people who don't share their wealth and I do not want you to end up like one of them.

When God calls, he gives a vision. I always ask people - where does vision come from? Yes, I know it comes from God, but what does God use to spark vision? - Needs. Where there is a need, there is a purpose and where there is a purpose, there is a vision. Where is your heart? Forget about the passion of hobby. Where is your heart? Where is the burden? The passion that God has placed in your heart. The passion that was first in His. I am not talking about the passion for music. I am talking about the passion for worship. I am not talking about the passion for art. I am talking about the passion of touching the next generation. I am not talking about the passion for education. I am talking about the passion in changing the world. There is a big difference between ministry and compassion. Just like there is a difference between theology and God's word. Perhaps passion is not so the word, but burden. Find that out. Which part of God's heart has He placed within you? What breaks your heart which so evidently would break His? What makes you lie awake on your bed at night full of concern and rage? What disturbs you?

If I followed my heart and did the things I only LIKED to do, I wouldn't be in education. I would be busy drawing, fulling the desires of my soul to the max and wasting my precious life away, struggling in my own fantasies of what I think passion is all about. No. There is a different passion. A passion for God and a passion for people. If you don't have a passion for people, then work on your passion for God because all those who love God love people. Because God loves people. There is no man of God who does not have a heart for people. We cannot say we love God and have no love for people. So if you don't have love for people, dig deep in the love of God and don't give up until you find intimacy with God.

Start your journey from the heart of God. From there, you will know what to do.

Once you have touched the heart of God, then you will know the heart of God. The same thing that breaks His heart will break yours and you will know your calling. If you want to touch the heart of God, worship. For hours and days if you have to. Just don't give up. All the best.

PS: If you need anything, you know where to find me.

* tRUST & OBey the LORD *