about myself

I don't believe I'm single again! And it feels so good to be single.. I have my own life to live, I don't have rules, I can grow up being whoever I want to be and not live in the expectations of someone else.. I feel more like myself now than someone's. I feel independant and characteristical(does that word exist?).. Basically, I feel myself. I don't have to dress nicely to please someone, don't have to straighten my hair out (more like being bugged by my bfs to straighten my hair out).. Hey, anyway, what's a blog for if it is not for me to talk about myself.. Seems to me i write about alot of things except what has been really happening.. Well, for those of you who still don't know whats going on, I have had 2 bfs so far, in one year. 7 months each.. The first was Adrian.. he was the same age as me and loves art. He is currently studying Creative Arts in MMU and goes to AOG in cheras. He's a great kisser i must admit, and he wasnt a gentleman until i trained him :).. but he's okay. He always refer to himself as the devil, but is really nothing like it. you can see his art work here. He is a good boy actually. He respects my decision and has respect for me. He's absolutely sweet and caring.. but it didn't work out because I felt that we were not right for each other and all. I just had to break up, which broke his heart, i guess.. *sigh*.. I'm sorry Adrian.. please forgive me. He's still my best friend till today and although I have other bfs or like other guys, he will always stand by me no matter how hard life is. I thank God I ever knew him... He's a comedian.. very humorous and all.. And I love his artwork.. I am his greatest fan and I still encourage him to carry on his art.. I think he has ALOT of potential. He's really gifted and talented. I hope more people will realize that. He's really an angel inside and not what you think, no matter what he potrays himself to be,.. He's the kind of person I can be very open to and have nothing to hide from in anything

My second bf was Jouvarn. He is from klang and is 2 years older than me. He potrays himself as an angel and all,.. but he's totally the opposite of Adrian although they both love art. His art is very good and I think he is a pro at it.. He is like a pro in everything he does and seems to be the know it all type.. He has alot of confidence in himself, smart, handsome and probably could find another girl soon.. he wants to be a pilot in MAS and i felt that he had everything in the world he needed already. He went to DUMC and always advice people on the net.. People look up to him alot. Even me at that time. He broke my heart later.. I guess I was not up to his standards.. and he didn't accept me for who I was.. until now he still thinks that I need to change to be someone better.. we still talk and all but its not so easy.. we're not open to each other and never was. There was like a barrier between us,. maybe it was pride.. I don't know. He spent alot on me when we were together although we didn't do much together.. but I think the later is more important.. well, I guess he's having a good time now.. I really don't know what else I should write about him besides the fact that he has a big.. Unfortunately, I don't have a pic of that.. but I have one of his face if you want.. here.. how wicked,.

Now i'm in love again.. sigh. How quick.. the guy I like is just sooo ...>.< and he is someone I really like.. outspoken and mature. He plays guitar and leads in worship.. He's very caring towards people and always there for you if you are hurt and going to kill yourself (like me when Jouvarn broke up with me).. and he will belanja you out, take good care of you, ask you all sorts of healthy questions until you get your blurr brain sorted out and know what you want from life.. He helped me alot.. alot. I don't know how much I should thank him.. I wish he'd stay by my side forever, but unfortunately, I don't think he's that interested,.. his taste for girls are really high class and all.. he like those really holy type and I assume that there are so many girls after him.. he wouldn't want me.. but if God willing... >.< let us now bow our heads, close our eyes,,... and dont fall asleep..

* tRUST & OBey the LORD *