Today, I suddenly understood the importance of respect. All along, I thought that if you loved a person, you would automatically respect them.. I was wrong. I just realized how I can esteem someone much more than another just because of respect. In fact, I respect Joram and Aaron so much that no matter which bf I get, I will always respect them. For instance, if my bf didn't like them.. then it's just too bad because I respect them, no matter what he says. I guess that's if I don't respect my bf as much as them.
I just realized how I can like a certain guy more than another guy.. For example- Rueben. I respect him so much, that when I see other guys.. I just can't get feelings for them.. no matter how nice or spiritual they are. I guess it all comes down to respect. It DOES have a large effect on feelings. So I can't help it.. even if the guy is so darn cute.. but if I don't respect him.. like, if I thought he was still a kid.. then I just can't have feelings for him- no chemistry, you know what I mean?
All this while I asked people- "What is respect compared to love? Who could possibly choose respect over love? Respect is not important!" My ego allows me to say this- that I was wrong. It is impossible to have feelings without respect. I just realized the pattern in the people I esteem the most in life, that they all have one thing in common- my utmost respect.
What determines my respect for people? You see I respect Joram, Aaron and Rueben. What makes them so different? It is not just the experiences that they go through in life, but how they take it. For example, a few people may go through the same experience, but it is their attitude towards those experiences that determine the level of respect I have for them.
Secondly, it is their voice of reason. One of the first things that developed my respect for Vic, my elder brother, was his voice of reason. I still remember clearly, like it happened yesterday- when I was 11, I organized a camp for kids- Indoor Camping- Organizer and Coordinator- 11 years old.. (:cough: :cough: .. ego ego..) Okayyy.... so here I was.. shouting my head off at them, trying to get them to do things I wanted them to do- buying them off with candies and sorts- oh, that worked.. but I was soon running out of candies.. -what do you expect? I was only 11. My social skills developed here, at this camp. My brother told me something that I will never forget-
As I walked into the Chairman's room (that's what it used to be called- Dad's office), Vic was there- amused. Amused at the connection between my activities and my age, I assume. I gained his respect enough for him to listen to a couple of sentences I blurted out to him (he used to shut me up by "SHUT UP, you irritating freak!" or just "SHUT UP, WILL YOU?") but this time, strangely enough, he listened as if I said something of importance. He treated me like a grown adult- (respected him first for that- will come to that later), and he gave me advice (now I was amused. Vic? -my enemy? Giving me advice? Since when did he switch from big bully to older brother? Needless to say, I treasured the moment. And remembered it like it was yesterday night.)
I said, almost in defeat, but in definite frustration- "The kids are not listening to me." I plumped onto the gray sofa nearest to me. (Sounds like a husband and wife conversation, no? -shows our level of maturity at such a young age.. :cough: :cough:)
He smiled and replied, "Anna,.. respect has to be earned." I was taken aback by the words. I know I've heard it before, and he didn't just come up with it, but it was appropriate for the moment and I finally learned how to apply quotes- and the importance of it. I guess here is where I developed my passion for quotes. They just come in so handy sometimes.
See? I couldn't remember the rest of the conversation, but I guess I know more or less on how it went. I asked him how to gain respect and stuff.. Anyway, my approach to the kids changed a lot after that. I have a tool now, and I shall use it- the art of gaining respect and taking advantage of it.
So, respect has to be earned. Firstly, through experiences and developing the right attitude towards them. Secondly, by being the voice of reason. Thirdly, as I said, 'I shall continue later', well.. that later is now. The first step in gaining respect is simple- by simply treating others with respect- whether you really respect them or not. This is the foundation and first step towards gaining respect.
I am sure there are other factors which contribute to the development of respect, but I can't think of it right now.. Nevertheless, these are the three main reasons that capture the utmost respect I have for Joram and Rueben.. Of course,.. I respect Joram so much more.
Oh.. and one more thing- age is not a factor- far from it. In fact, the older a person is, the harder it is for that person to gain my respect- this is because I would expect a higher level of maturity from them, and if they don't produce it, I tend to.. despise them- yes, an obvious weakness of mine- that's why certain adults find me really rude.. I guess I have to apply the first step when it comes to them- to treat them with respect, whether or not I really respected them.
Before I end, I would like to add one more thing- sometimes, a younger person may not be as matured as me, but because that person's level of maturity succeeds that person's age, that person has my respect- but this doesn't exactly apply to Rueben because his level of maturity didn't just succeed his age, but mine and my level of maturity at certain areas. Want me to be specific? He is what I would like to call 'hardworking'- he helps his dad, catch up well in his studies, earns money all at the same time.. don't know how he does it. Financially independent to a certain extend. Secondly, he did go through some stuff in life I wouldn't have taken so positively- kind of reminds me of Joram, but not as bad. Thirdly, he definitely treats me with respect (and I guess.. every other girl too), ma'am this, ma'am that.. lolz!
* tRUST & OBey the LORD *
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