4-5 months vs 4-5 years

Joram is going to aussie for 4-5 years.. 4-5 years is a long time.. i don't know if I'll live through it.. afterall, he might not be back at all..

Who is Joram.. he is a dear friend of mine.. as dear as all my college friends.. its just that he has done so much for us that it will difficult to live without him.. although ive only really gotten to know him for the past 4-5 months, 4-5 years is a long time..I've only started to live my life this 4-5 months.. yeah.. can you believe that? But it's true.. I've never lived my life as much before that.. never had friends like these friends in college, never had fun like i had here, and never had experiences like the ones i had during these 4-5 months..

ive got to know people.. Annie is cute and adorable.. but there is more to that. she is always cheerful and happy.. nicholas was one of the first people whom i got to know during this 4-5 months.. he is amazing.. you wouldnt think he can do anything from his outer appearance.. but God sees the heart. he is one of those Jesus freaks, but is the quiet type.. never heard? well, he reads his Bible quietly and prays a ton~! thats why i said, his outer appearance is nothing at all compared to the warrior within him. Adrienne is one of those few i met at the end of this 4-5 months and one of the first to leave too. but she is just wonderful.. in a way, i find her alot like me.. i know that if joram and aaron are going to wipe the floor until late night, and i tell her about it, she will think the same thing as me.. - join them~! i wont need to tell her to do it,. she already has the same thing in mind... i enjoy ministering together with her.. go round pray for people with her.. and when alter call come, and i felt that i need to go up to the front, open my eyes,.. she is already there. haha.. yeap.. she is one of those people you wish you knew earlier in life.. She will be leaving end of this year... Aaron is the one and only who will be with me the longest. he will be around until this 2 1/2 years end. he spent the most time with me.. i chat with him all the time and he is a great friend to have no matter what the circumstances. during holiday or during a hard time, it is always aaron time.. haha.. he stood by me when i would think others wont. many times i was irritating to him and pouring all my problems out like nobodys business as though i have nothing better to do.. sometimes i scold him for nothing and then say sorry because i misunderstood him, added to it, this happened when i was first starting to make friends with him.. yes, i pour my heart out and he knows me more than anyone in this world right now.. i really share to him whatever that comes into my head.. thats why i am no doubt the most irritating person on this planet to him. its amazing he still chats with me.. aaron, im touched,.. really. thanks for being there for me

but what will life be when i end college? no more cf meetings? no more prayer meetings? no more friends and yam char? no more chatting online?

during this 4-5 years.. the first 2 1/2 years from now till the end of 2007, i will be finishing my degree programme in kdu.. nic and annie will be leaving next year, and afew others including adrienne and the other 1-year people will be leaving end of this year.. already sharon, joram and sean are leaving this week.. im sad.. because the thought "4-5 years" brings me into the future.. brings me to this point of 2 1/2 years. In 2 1/2 years, nic, adrienne, joram will all be looooonnnnng gone.. and aaron and i will be leaving cf. Who will the next cf people be? can they do the job of raising cf up? already joram says he will be nothing but a legacy left behind.. did we actually make a difference after all that? i dont even remember who were the people before me, like before i came into cf.. the only ones i know of are the ones that come back again to speak. and even if they used to be cf presidents.. i dont know who the cat they are~! the only one who remember them is miss angeline.. Aaron will be leaving with me. The others will be long gone by then.. hugh.. its so hard to believe and even harder to accept. What will it be like? no nicholas, no annie, no adrienne, no joram, and worse.. after that dreadful time.. no aaron. Hugh.. i cant accept it!

do you know what? now that joram is leaving in 2 days.. adrienne is leaving end of this year and nic and annie will go next.. the people who mean so much to me.. added to it,.. 2 1/5 years from now, i dont know if i will see aaron again.

4-5 years time.. so after this 2 1/2 years, there will be another 2 1/2 years..to make it worse.. joram might never come back. and so what if joram comes back? will we all be in college again? will we all be there for prayer meetings again? will joram play the guitar again and nicholas lead in prayer? will adrienne pray with me for other people? will aaron chat online with me everynight? will annie smile and will we all go yam char again every alternate night? will aaron go to jorams house again for the whole night and complain to me that joram snores? will nicholas and joram pick me up and drop me at home? will aaron invite me to go kuantan again and drive me around like last time? nothing of this will happen again.. will it?

i will be at work.. i dont know what life will be like without joram, aaron, nicholas, annie and adrienne, but its sure not going to be the same.. will i make it? why do they mean so much to me? how can they not mean so much to me?.. 'LORD, won't You give me strength to make it through somehow'(Homesick, mercyme)

Make new friends.. but what will life be without nicholas, annie, aaron, joram and adrienne? what will happen.. these people are the best.. i love them alot. and after all that... life just goes on.. i know i just started to live my life this 4-5 months.. and i dont think i want to stop living it.. can i just pause time?

nothing lasts.. except Jesus. He is the only one who will stand with me through it all. we can blame God for not pausing time. we can blame Him for anything if we want to.. but how many of us realizes that He is going to be the only one that lasts? He will be there till the end.. till the day we die. And He will see us through to make sure we all get to Heaven someday.. all i can say for now is..

Adrienne, Aaron, Nicholas, Annie, Joram.. you guys rock! I love you guys~!!!

* tRUST & OBey the LORD *