Dear Readers,
It is 2 something in the morning, and I can't sleep.. I've been thinking.. Maybe I should close down this blog. Honestly, I've been too honest here, and too many things has happened because of my honesty in this blog- guys found out that I have feelings for them, close friends found out the things I hated about them, and girls found out that I have taken their bfs.. and no, these aren't good things- not the least bit. To make it worse, all my mistakes I've done in this life are plain for all to see- what goes on in my head and the wrong assumptions I've made- I'm most familiar with this as it has occurred the most frequent through the entire lifetime of this blog.
Nevertheless, I'm even more sorry to say that I love this blog too much to close it down. Perhaps it has been my negligence or perhaps I was inconsiderate, or perhaps both. What are the intentions for my honesty? Well, like I always wanted to say- this is my blog. If you have a problem with that, don't read it. Okay, so I am being plain inconsiderate.
But I have thought about it a lot, over the years.. believe me, I have regretted saying too many things here.. and I always told myself- perhaps I could make my blog private (but didn't know how), or perhaps I could close it down (no heart), or the more matured way would be to control my honesty. My tongue is my greatest enemy, as Jie told me when I was 5 or 6. She was right.. and all these years, I took her advice lightly- in fact, I never took it. And now, just now,.. I'm beginning to see how 'prophetic' her advice was. It was an advice, I, especially, should carry through my life. Maybe you CAN know a person when they are yet that young. Needless to say, my tongue is personally my greatest weakness. Want to know how important this advice is, read James.. somewhere in that book it talks about the power of the tongue- able to bridle the whole body. It is like a rudder- able to steer the whole ship. With a tongue, you could build a person up, or you can crush that person. Oh the danger I despised to foresee!
Too many times have I turned previous posts back into drafts, and I am so doing again after posting this. I have two options now- I can either regret or I can move forward, and too many times, I have chosen to move forward. Maybe now, just now, I should opt to regret. Because by regretting, it would be painful enough for me to learn from my mistakes, as not to repeat it again. Then perhaps, just perhaps.. I could be more careful next time. Too many times have I told myself to neglect those regrets. And too many times have I repeated the same mistakes, year after year.. It's time to learn, and it's time to move on with what I've learned. A "tinged theory of regret" refers to both regretting and moving forward- moving forward, but with what I have already learned. In this case, regret as I move forward is more needed than plainly moving forward. Already I hear voices of sighing coming from XiYing and Joram, saying "finally..".
Dear reader, this will probably be one of the most honest blogs you have came across, so bask in my past honesty, but from this point on.. I'm sorry, but I shall be more careful.. hit or no hit, I shall be more careful.
* tRUST & OBey the LORD *
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