After yesterday's prayer meeting, I felt God so real again. The Voice was so real again. I think what Caleb shared was right, although I just only read his mails. He said those who fight will shoot up close to God. And he also said in this email that revival is a saperation from those who seek after His presense and those who despise His presense. Yesterday, I just went to warfare by faith when we prayed for the sanctuary. I dont know what I am doing, i just know that the pastor said shout, so I shout, and even if I dont feel the urge to shout, I shout. Sometimes i try to wait for the urge, but this time, I just shout anyway. all i know is that if I want God, I have to chase Him, pursue Him. Even if I am tired, like pastor said, I just go on. Don't stop until God ask you to stop. I was very tired and hungry and weak yesterday. I only ate breakfast and I spent the night doing my assignment and I was so tired, when I prayed, I was almost panting. Want to sit down, want to sit down. But i shouted and shouted, and yes, pastor was right again, even if we feel like a fool or wondering what people think of us, we should go on. Caleb shared about the curse that try to stop the sanctuary, and i realize that the devil was attacking the intercessors and all of us who are praying for the church or used to pray for the church. That is why my spiritual life has been so down these few years. I realize that I have been through so many attacks. Anything and everything possible to pull me down. And I am not going to let the devil have the upper hand. This is a war. Sometimes we may loose the battle and fall into the enemy's trap, but we will win the war! And after the prayer meeting, I was surprised that God's still quiet voice in my heart comes at the times when I least expect it. But it is real, and I was touched by God's presense alone. It is not as real but more real than any human being next to me, MORE real, not just real. God's presense is more real than anything in this world. It is more here and more there than anything is here or there. It is as real as I am real. You want God's presense? Don't give up. It's never too late. When I was going home, Pastor Lily said, "I think those who prayed for the sanctuary today had the curse lifted from them also." and I totally agreed! Why? Because I felt the release of His presense in my life again. And I was surprised that just because I chose to shout, knowing that I might be dissapointed at the end results just like any other time, yet still choosing to go on, that God was pleased. When we do something that we know will work and it works, then thats good, but when you do something that you know won't work but it works, then that is faith. Is it just me or is revelation starting to flow? These are the advantages of being in God's presense. Hallelujah! Well, only fools do something they know won't work, so let us be fools for Christ! And see God work anyway. May the curse be broken from our lives.
If you want God in your life again, there is no book or preacher or pastor or friend that can get you back there. The only way to get God into your life again is yourself. You have to be willing - MORE than willing. You need to have faith, to do something you know won't happen. "I've tried so many times. I just can't get God back." Sounds familiar? Well, this is what you need, you need to change. You need to tell God, "God, I want to change. I just totally want to be transformed and lose myself!" Secondly, you need to try harder. "I did, I've been trying!" Well, thats the whole point. Since you have been trying and you know it won't work, thats when you don't give up because the more you try in FAITH knowing nothing will happen, God intervenes. Thirdly, listen to what the pastors say even if you don't feel like it. No urge, no bubbles.. no feel, no sense to do it. If you think you want to wait for the feel and sensing to come, you can forget about it or wait forever. Fourthly, go on and on and on and on and on. Even if you feel like a fool and wondering what people think of you. The devil likes to play with your mind. But if there is something you really want, like God's presense in your life, then don't give in so easily. You may have been trying for a thousand years, but it only takes a few minutes to get God back in your life.
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* tRUST & OBey the LORD *
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