Fever...

Yupe.. Had a fever since last night.. couldn't sleep the whoooole night. It was terrible! Some parts of my body felt like stone ice and some parts felt like it was burning in flames. I couldn't make out which it was. My toes and my fingers were freezing, but the rest of my body was in flames. I could literally imagine flames coming out from my back.

I was so hot that I was worried if I could think straight or literally burn out some parts of my brain permanently.. seriously. I thought that I would be mentally a bit off for good if I didn't control my temperature. I told myself that if I were put into a tub of ice cold water, I would be able to generate enough steam to power a train from Johor to Penang. (Yes.. my mind really WASN'T working that well..) I started to think all kinds of things the whole night. I couldn't sleep and my temperature was high, so what do you expect? -I was going insane. I started thinking crap to myself. Crap like.. "I think my brain is frying itself. I could burn some CDs while I'm at it." Haha.. get it? Hot- Burn? Ok.. nvm... It was crap the whole night.

The more serious crap came soon enough.. Things like.. "Why am I having a fever? Did I eat something wrong?" After thinking for a while, I decided that it must've been the papayas.. I just couldn't recall when the sore throat that led to the fever started. I actually think it was before the papayas.

Then I thought again, "Well, if it wasn't my own fault that I am having a fever, it must be a spiritual attack." (Because I ate normal food, had enough sleep, and I didn't over exhaust myself physically.) Then I thought and thought.. but if it was a spiritual attack, why now? What did I do that got the devil so mad at me? There wasn't anything important tomorrow also.. Unless it's the literature review, la.. but I just don't get it.

Then I thought again, "Well, if it ain't me and ain't the devil, could it be God? Maybe God is upset with me." Death actually crossed my mind and I thought about it, "Maybe God wants to end my life because of all the sins I committed. It is His judgment on my life." (Yes.. my temperature was soaring already, why do you think I said such things?)

So the conclusion ended something like that la.. Because my condition was getting from bad to worse and I actually thought that I would never get healed. I thought it would be so bad that I'd just die. Like God wanted me to have a fever so that I'd die. I kept asking God, "Why do You want me to have a fever? What's the purpose? What is it You want me to learn from here?"

I never had a fever like that before. I don't know, it just seemed so strange. Like now.. I'm healed already. What's the purpose? It's not my fault- that much I know. It has something to do with the spiritual realm. And as far as I am concerned, God doesn't make people sick and then heal them- it must've been the devil. The question is.. why?

Next morning, my mum finally came into the room.. complained about how dirty it was.. you know la.. I'm useless when it comes to that.. (hey, I have weaknesses too, okay?) And she asked me to on the air cond.. but I didn't want la.. I didn't want to sponge myself to recovery in the chilly chilly way.. I rather sweat myself out of it.. so the window was opened but slighty only la.. because the Bel 'Air was on and I didn't wanna waste it. And even with no fan or aircond and only one window opened by 2 cm at the most, I was still cold. My ankles and wrists were in pain.

Then later.. (what seemed like a week later) Jie called me on my phone. She said she heard that I had a fever then asked me if I was going to sweat it or chill it. So I answered her that I planned to sweat it. She said that she'll be coming over.. after what seemed like few days later, Jie and Caleb finally came. Jie came holding a glass of water and two huge pills.. and when I say huge, I mean like almost an inch long and 1 cm thick- 2 of it. She said it was some 'ActivePower' or something like that la.. anyway she said that it'll be so effective that I would be okay in half an hour or so... after eating 'em, Jie and Caleb prayed for me.. I was like, "Wahhh.. why so good wan ah? Come all the way to my room to pray for me, ah?" ahah.. I was so touched, really, I was. Then Dylan came into the room- so they made him pray.. hehe.. he was so cute.. my sis asked him to repeat everything she said.. you know, la.. Dylan- when he talk also very soft spoken, wan..

"Lord Jesus,.." "Lord, Jesuss?"

"I pray for Aunty Anna.." "I pray for Aunteeh Annah? *giggles"

"I pray that You heal her.." "I pray that You heal her?"

"In Jesus name,.." "In Jesuss naaaame?"

"Amen!" "Amennn..."

He so cute, la..

Then Caleb was like.. "Wah.. your room so many guitars wan ah?" Then I was like.. "Yupe.. 3 guitars, 1 electric guitar and 1 violin..heh heh.." and he was like, "Wah.. I didn't know you got so many guitars wan.." Then I was like.. "No, la.. not mine wan.. one is mum's, one is mine and the other one I don't know already." Then he saw all my name tags hanging beside my room door. "Wah.. look at that.. so many name tags.. wah! Why got Benjamin Tan there wan?" then I was like.. "Haha.. don't know." then Jie was like.. "There- the Voice name tag."

Then later they were leaving already. Jie was like.. "Sauna.. this room is a sauna!!!" I just laughed. Then she said, "Good, la.. you're sweating already.. The pill just half an hour only, la.. then you'd be okay already.." Then I said, "My headache is killer pain.." Then she said, "Is it? You must laugh at least 15 minutes a day, you know? So laugh more, then you get healed faster.. Just kidding, la.." Hehe.. I was so touched la.. by the fact that they came all the way to my room to pray for me and all.. now I'm healed already.. Praise God~!

* tRUST & OBey the LORD *