.:: .:.: :. You mean the world to God .: .:: :..

:.. He says He loves you more than anything & you mean the world to Him .:.:

.::. He'd do anything for you and He died on the cross to prove it :. .::


..:: When I was 6 years old, my sister told me a story about the lost sheep .::.

.: God had a hundred sheep in His flock ::.

.:.. At the end of the day, when He has brought them home, He would count them to make sure they were all there .::

.:.: One day, He found that there was only ninety-nine and it was already getting late .:

..: Nevertheless, He left the ninety-nine to look for that one which was lost .::.

..::. He searched until it was dark and finally, He heard its cries coming from the valley :..

.:.. He went towards it and found the little lamb wounded and hungry .::.

::. He moved away the rocks and carried it in His arms .:..

.: He embraced it as He said, " I will never give up until I find you. " ..:.: :..


.:: ..: ::. God has only one craving, one dream, one desire - that is you ..: ::.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

tough choice


When it comes to crossroads like this, I have to choose. Sacrifices have to be made. And among all these sacrifices, I have to make You my priority because I have to know what is for keeps and what I have to forgo. I have to think through carefully. I have to remind myself that I have made You my priority and I cannot put others above You. Everything else just isn't so important. Everything else is just secondary. If anything else is opposed to what You want for me, then I have to forgo them.

Right now, I have to think carefully. What are my priorities? I have to list them down. Is getting PR more important or is finishing my masters as soon as possible more important? Is going to a reputable and prestigious university more important or is undergoing a course that is unique and has good teachers more important? Which is more important? Which is Your priority?

Honestly, I don't know anymore.

Why did I come to Australia? Is it really to get a PR or is it for my education? If I had the money; if money really wasn't an issue, I'd say I will continue my studies. This is why I am here. Even before Ebbie and Joey talked about flying to Australia and getting a PR here, I already talked about pursuing my masters. My coming to Australia to do my masters is my independent decision without knowing that Ebbie and Joey were going to Australia at all. It was just a coincidence. And if they hadn't decided to come to Australia, I would have gone ahead without them and pursued my studies in Queensland and wouldn't even be here in LaTrobe. It had nothing to do with getting a PR. Absolutely nothing whatsoever about getting a PR. The idea of getting a PR was purely Ebbie's misconception and influence based on her own desires and passion about getting a PR. She assumed I was in her position. It is not, however, a bad idea. Nevertheless, in terms of priorities, it comes second on my list.

Unfortunately, I don't have the means to pursue my first priority. Or so I think. Then there comes trust and obedience and faith and hope and all that. And in times like this, I cannot make decisions based on circumstances, but based on priorities and faith. Because if I let doubts sway my decisions then I shall be like a ship on the sea being tossed by the wind and people like that never accomplish anything in life, and let not a person like that assume that he shall receive anything from You. For what if they changed the law? Then after 10 months of working in Malaysia, I don't have the chance to get my PR? And then what? I wasted my 18 months there.

Secondly, the issue about studying in UQ or Latrobe is solely based on Your decision. If I use my logic, it tells me two things: the best in education is UQ - go for the best because God deserves the best. Then again, it says that it's not about the qualification or the grades - it's all about what I learn that is important. So what if UQ is the best if I've felt like I've learned so much in 1 semester here in LaTrobe - possibly more than I could ever learn in UQ in 2 years. I felt like my experience here in LaTrobe changed my life. It gave me opportunities of the unknown.

But then again, I felt like I've gained all that I could gain from LaTrobe and it is time to move on to the next thing, after all, I've never been to UQ and who knows? Maybe UQ is really better? I can't judge a University if I've never been there. Going to UQ will be able to give me the best of both worlds. I've gained all I could possibly gain from LaTrobe in one semester here and it has been such a rich experience. Staying back here another semester might result to me learning absolutely nothing and ending up in regret.

Priorities. Is money really a priority here? No it isn't. I can't let that depict my decision to stay in LaTrobe or move on to UQ. LaTrobe can only do so much for me. I believe I've soaked in their main essence as to what they believe education is all about. I've got the drift. I can't possibly learn any more from them that I haven't caught already. They've done their best, and I've soaked it all in. Time to get a new sponge. That's 50% of what I wanted to do. Now let's move on to the other 50%.

Money comes secondary to education and experience, so I believe I shall move on to UQ. I've let the money issue get the best out of me in deciding on my undergraduate degree and I've made the most out of the money issue there. I've graduated with my money's worth, all right. It was a hopeless education but rich experience that changed my life simply because You were merciful to provide me with a supportive Christian Fellowship who made it all worthwhile.

Question is.. how rich will my experience be in UQ? Only You know...

* tRUST & OBey the LORD *
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