From Ipoh to Miri

Yeap.. you got that right... travelling around malaysia in 7 days.. haha.. just kidding.. i went to ipoh because my sis ask me go jaga kids,.. erm... then go there see jusco, call chris out and hang out after the meeting.. watch choco factory with mr willy wonker.. hehe i luf that guy.. so cute.. and i hate the oopaa loompas.. they so irritating.. and all also same.. i see their face until sien already.. ish.. trying hard to forget that face now.. get it off my mind~!!!

okie enuf of willie wonker and the chocky.. hey, did i mention that i like willie wonker?? hahha... ok ok.. >.<


well another thing that happened in ipoh was that the police caught me and wanted to jail me.. haha.. they caught us on the road and ask us for i/c and then i never bring I/c... duh.. because it was in the house and we lost our way to the house.. actually we already stop at the road because we were waiting for our friends to come and bring us home because none of us in this car knows how to go home..so.. need backup.. then police come already, check i/c and create problem for me... aihhh.. who ask me never bring i/c right.. and then chris was driving and so he was called out of the car (hey, by right they are not allowed to ask us out.. its the rule..) but he went out anyway, and was questioned and he try to plead with the police to let me go because i was the only one who didnt bring my i/c.. and he actually can saman me or bring me to jail straight away.. so anyway, he plead and plead and i was waiting with denise in the car.. then you know la.. hungry people like me although i was already eating kit kat which denise bought at the cinema, still very fast impatient one.. so i come out of the car and stand between him and the police to see what all the trouble was about.. and the police (there were 2) asked me to fill in the details.. while i was writing it down on a scrap of paper the other police asked me what my dad was working as.. i was like... "err.. pastor.. paderi.." dont know how to say.. but also dont care.. as long as he so called understand la.. and then

he was like.. "oh.. kamu ni dari mana?"

i was like.. "mm.. kl.."

he said " kl mana?"

i was like.. "pj, section 12"

then he said " di sini jugak sama dengan di pj, tau? di sini ada banyak kes kes yang jadi" i just nodded..then he warned me that it was dangerous not to bring my i/c.. "kamu boleh kena saman tau?" i nodded again.. then he let me go.. *phew.. now i got peace,.. and continue eating my kit kat..

erm.. lemme see,.. what else in ipoh?? ahh.. yes, i met a new friend, her name is Winnie~!! she is 11 years old and she calls me "Anna Fish.."... great~! first Angela the fish then Eujin the fish and then now it is Anna the Fish~! are we a school of fish or a college of fish now~?~!.. anyway.. i like that name.. by the time i wanted to go back home, she gave me a pic of a fish and wrote this ::

For U Anna Fish!

From :: Winnie



at the back i asked her to write her address because she doesnt go online and doesnt even have an email address.. so i have to mail to her literally.. and then she also gave herself two fishes.. one was medium sized and one was mini size.. of course mine was GIANT size.. hehe.. because i so fat.. hahar.. anyway, on the medium one i wrote my add and on the mini one i wrote my online contact addresses and stuff.. who knows.. maybe one day, right?? yeh..

so now in miri.. there is connection here.. haha.. i so happie.. stay at hotel summore.. not longhouse or what.. thank God i brought my swimming gear and goggles.. just now went to the beach and then go swim swim.. hmm.. beach.. reminds me of aaron.. kuantan... aaron... kuantan... arghh~! >.< cannot~!

yeah lor.. so i went alone.. my parents busy in the meeting.. and then i go build sand castle.. i did a little model of my school which i wanna build.. a little one only la. nothing one.. dig one big hole.. make a wall around it.. then use the sand i dug out to build the school in in front or rather.. behind it.. altogether the school was like 2 feet and the hole another 2 feet long and the depth of the hole was like 1/4 feet?.. ook!! nvm...

and then i sit at the hole there and dip my feet into the water gathered at the hole.. because the sand arh.. is like clay sand one.. very erm... how to say.. like use to make pots one... yeah.. and then dig already alot of water down there one..because so near the sea.. further away got alot of crab like to stay one.. aaaaaaaahhhh!! i know why.. because it was low tide that time.. now i think my school habis musnah already..

and then go swim swim alone.. so boring.. then lie down at the long chair there facing the beach.. or supposed to face the beach, all blocked by other long chairs and tables in front of me.. and trees la.. all trees.. summore my long chair was on the grass.. it was like this.. from the hotel.. then you go to the pool.. then you see grass with long chairs and tables and shades.. then finally the beach.. so since i swim swim already then duhno where all the mah salleh there get their towels from so i no need towel la,.. just dry myself in the hot breeze... mmmmMMMMMmm.... on the white cushion long chair.. MMMMmm.. and then adjust my chair make it lower so can sleep.. MMMMmmmmMMMMMmmmMMMMMmm.... oklar,.. enuf... now can advertise for ParkCity Everly Hotel.. formerly Holiday Inn.. and then bought over and my mum said some china man duhno how to pronounce 'Beverly' so become 'Everly'... so sad, hoh?

Anyway.. thats life here la.. erm.. friends? so far no friends la..actually the first night itself i took 2 cups of coffee... and so i knew i wont be able to sleep, so after the 6 course chinese dinner with my parents and the leaders then i followed my brother elijah to the youth meeting.. apparently they said that the youth just loved to worship... and yeah~! i like totally agree.. they can spent hours.. and so even after the 6 course dinner they still worshipping.. so geng yah? and so i go with them see the youth people.. but in the end no one come shake hands with me.. >.<

so how? no friends yet lor.. see tonight can make friends or not.. try lah~! try very hard... >.< ....*sniff *sniff ... hmm... those old friends must be thinking what is wrong with me.. well anna no more introvert liao.. become extrovert already.. cant spend time alone for too long.. have to make friends one.. if go long journey like this need to make friends.. networking is important.. if not i feel like my journey there is not worth it.. something like that la...

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Hey, guess what? Nope,.. not a new bf,.. guess again.. Erm.. yeap, something weirder than that~! I am in the plane right now,.. nothing to do, so start blogging lor.. no, la.. no internet connection.. just using word.. on my mum¹s lap top.. it¹s a mac~! And I thought she would never let me lay my hands on it~! Well.. I am now..

Well, basically I just wanted to type about my trip to Miri,.. yeah, continuetion from yesterday¹s.. well, in the end I did meet new friends thereŠ there are all the girls because miri church is basically students and students are basically girls.. No,, not dissapointed, because I know it will be more appropriate for me to make more girl friends that guy friends, and if most of them are girls then I just get to make more friends~! Right? Right..

And then I started talking from english to malay to iban.. great.... well yeah,.. I started talking to them all in english but then they are not so comfortable in it, so I decided to talk in bm because the girl next to me at lunch was like saying to her other friends, ³eh, kamu lebih pandai cakap dalam BI, kamu cakaplah dengan dia..² and I was like looking at her,.. oh, her name is Joanne, btw.. and then there is the others.. Li, Vivian, Jaclyn, and Diana.. The one I kam ching with the most is in the end Joanne.. I started talking to her in BM, she is the one who first introduced herself to me, and I already put it into my heart to make only 1 or 2 really good friends when visiting anywhere because my stay there is limited and if I really want to kam ching with anyone, I only can spend time with 1 or 2 in order to build a stronger network,.. the rest can always meet again second time, but I need God to just show me who is the 1 or 2 people whom I should make friends with,.. and I think 1 is better than 2 people.. so far I only kam ching with one wherever I go. In Ipoh, it was Winnie and over here it is Joanne.. Joanne is 15, btw,.. oh,.. and do you know what? I just realized something.. Let me tell you abit about them..

Ok, Winnie is someone who is very mature for her age, and so is Joanne.. they are both people who desire for spiritual things and really have a relationship with God as I see it. I don¹t understand why I so kamching with these kind of people, but I am beginning to see that God specifically brought me all the way there to meet up with them.. in fact, I never told God who I wanted to meet and what kind of people, I just surrendered everything to God to bring them, and whoever it is that I kam ching with then they are the one I am to network with,.. I am very surprised at
the results.. really..

MIRI PHOTOS

Speaking of networking.. did you know that in the beginnning of the year, being an introvert, I still knew the importance of networking and in my New Year Resolution, i normally write the same general stuff and boring stuff every year.. expected already.. like give God certain amount of money, play piano in church, get good results.. stuff like that la.. but this year I surprisingly wrote something which I kept thinking about every now and then during the year and it really made me so excited whenever I thought about it.. that particular NYR was to meet up with the right people God want me to network with for the school.. and I know it is very important.. but it also makes me excited at the same time..

Oh.. great.. im reaching already,Š the cabin crew are collecting rubbish now.. just now someone keep farting.. so shmelly.. but not as shmelly as likee la.. hehe.. just kidding.. sorry shmelly..

One of the people I found my heart really fixed to was the cf in my college.. now I don¹t know if they are the people whom God has assigned for this mission, but never theless, I knew that if I have such a strong bond with them which I never had with anyone else in my life before, then surely, you know.. there is something in store for us.. and I thought, hey,.. surely if now is the end of the year, I would be confident to put there that this NYR is accomplished successfully because they are such a great bunch of people.. it is not yet half a year and already this NYR is
accomplished.. wau.. surely it was the Holy Spirit who put this NYR into my heart..
but as the year proceeds, things are beginning to happen, I suddenly get a call from my sis during cf prayer meeting asking me to go to Ipoh because she needs help, and I my mum while chatting with her in US, asked me to go to Miri.. Miri of all places? And its not like my parents to take the kids around with them on trips like that.. I mean.. Miri is not exactly like langkawi or what.. but the way she sounded online was as though I always wanted to go to miri or something.. like.. harlo? Who in the universe would ever come out to Miri?? And I didn¹t even know where it was.. Can you believe that? In the plane, on the way there.. i was like chatting with my mum..

" Mum, Miri is near Kuching right? "

" No, Anna.. It's near Brunei. "

" Hah?? Are you sure?? "

" Yeah.. It is.. Thats why people from west malaysia dont take a direct flight to Brunei.. its more expensive. Instead, they take a flight to Miri and then go to Brunei.."

" Oh, okaaayy.... I always thought Miri was near Kuching.. "

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And guess what? now i am at home in my room already.. listening to 'history makers' by delirious? and feeling so sleepy and lonely here.. just now called nic to see how he was doing, whether he still sick or not.. how was cf.. got people go yc or not.. but then.. sigh too bad his dad is there, so my call lasted 59 seconds and then no chance to ask him all those questions.. but still i managed to call likee before calling him.. i woke likee up to ask for nic phone number, okay? and then in the end ended up talking to likee summore.. the thing is that in the end, he asked me to pray for him because he got interview on tuesday.. that guy really know how to take opportunity... haha.. his usual words are ::

" Anna, i know you very good/cute/polite/pretty/etc... right? "

then continued by ::

" so can pray for/fetch/ask for/pay for/etc... me right? "

haha.. now you know la.. the more you hang out with him.. like that la.. kakakaka.. jk..esp when you see him almost everyday.. why everytime end up talking about likee wan arh..? cannot la.. he sure perasan one..

now i am telling aaron all the songs i like as i hear them from audio adrenaline.. aiyo.. teruk la.. all the songs i like already.. i supposed not to like audio adrenaline except to sleep... but then i hear the songs all nice nice already.. esp.. 'Beautiful', 'Get Down' and 'Hands and Feet'.. the songs like really nice, weh.. super nice~! >.< ...

What am i talking about now? I'm supposed to talk about Miri, right? Out of topic already.. so fast.. (purposely wan..)

:)


* tRUST & OBey the LORD *

LIKEE

Hey... sowee you people.. never write bloggy for so long already.. anyway.. i guess my inspiration to write again was out of boredom and also from likee since he write so muchh.. you know, when i read whatever likee writes, whether posts or emails, at the start i always wonder why is like he got nothing better to do.. and nothing better to write about..its like.. his topics all like so general one.. merdeka day la.. and then all the things that you'd think people already knows already but he still must write such a lengthy journal about it.. you really wonder why, huh?
well, let him write whatever he wants to write la.. and at the start i also always think that he sounds like he really misses his school life so much.. no school also still wanna write all these essays.. but you know what? although his grammar is not so good and all.. i still read his blog~! hahah.. its like the daily newspaper~! hahahahhhaha.. anyway.. keep it up likee.. at least you write on your blog, and there is a place for all of us to hang out online.. likee's blog is like.. our online mamak.. where i see everyone there... like reunion or something.. yeah.. call me invisible whatever,.. you must also be wondering why i never posted anything.. well.. didnt wanna spoil the fun mar.. you guys sound so fun.. after i crack one stupid totally worse than lame joke there then all cabut already.. haha.. jk.. well in the end also post marr... said thanks.. thanks.. didnt wanna pollute your lovely blog, so i decided to pollute mine instead.. hehe.. :D
* tRUST & OBey the LORD *

God loves me unconditionally

All the passages below are taken from Joyce Meyer’s book “Beauty for Ashes,” published in 1994 by Time Warner Book Group.

IF YOU ARE a person who has been abused, by now you have probably identified some problem areas in your life. To point out problems without offering a solution to them would be disastrous. If I did that, you would end up more frustrated than you were before you began reading this book.
I intend to outline the major truths that brought healing in my own life. As I do so, 1 would like to remind you that God is no respecter of persons (see Acts 10:34). What He does for one person, He will do for another, if it is a promise found in His Word.

THE PROCESS OF HEALING
My first husband did not know how to love, so I received no love at all from our relationship. Although my wonderful second husband, Dave, did truly love me, I knew no more than I ever had about how to receive love. I bounced back and forth between:
(1) rejecting his love and closing him out of my life by building walls around myself to ensure that I would not get hurt (or so I thought), and,
(2) trying to get him to love me with a kind of perfect and complete love that was humanly impossible for him to achieve.
In 1 John 4:18 we read that perfect love casts out fear. Only God can love perfectly and without fault. No matter how much anyone may love another person, he is still human. As our Lord said, “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41). People always disappoint other people---they always love somewhat imperfectly, simply because that is part of human nature.
I was trying to get Dave to give me something that only God could give me, which was a sense of my own value and worth. I wanted my husband to love me totally and to treat me perfectly so I could finally feel good about myself. Whenever he failed me, disappointed me, or hurt me, I would put up walls between us and not allow him in at all for days or even weeks.
Many people who come from abusive, dysfunctional backgrounds cannot maintain healthy, lasting relationships because either they do not know how to receive love or they place an unbalanced demand on their marriage partners to give them what only God can give. The resulting frustration often ruins the marriage.
This same principle can be applied to friendships. One time a woman came up to me in a prayer line and said: “Joyce, help me. I am so lonely. Every time I get a friend, I suffocate her.” This lady was so love-starved that if she found anyone who would pay any attention to her at all, she tried to collect all her past emotional debts from that individual, who owed her nothing. Her new friend was usually frightened away.

GOD’S BOUNDLESS, UNCONDITIONAL, PERFECT LOVE
One day as I was reading the Bible, I noticed this statement in 2 Corinthians 5:7: “For we walk by faith [we regulate our lives and conduct ourselves by our conviction or belief respecting man’s relationship to God and divine things, with trust and holy fervor; thus we walk] not by sight or appearance.”
The Holy Spirit stopped me and asked, “What do you believe, Joyce, about your relationship with God? Do you believe He loves you?”
As I honestly began to search my heart and to study the Word of God on this subject, I came to the conclusion that I did believe that God loved me, but conditionally.
The Bible teaches us that God loves us perfectly or unconditionally. His perfect love for us is not based on our perfection. It is not based on anything except Himself. God is love (see 1 John 4:8). Love is not His occupation; it is Who He is. God always loves us, but often we stop receiving His love, especially if our behavior is not good.
I would like to stop here and present several passages of scripture that have come to mean a lot to me. Please take time to read them slowly. Digest them and allow them to become a part of you:
And we know (understand, recognize, are conscious of, by observation and by experience) and believe (adhere to and put faith in and rely on) the love God cherishes for us. God is love, and he who dwells and continues in love dwells and continues in God, and God dwells and continues in him.
In this [union and communion with Him] love is brought to completion and attains perfection with us, that we may have confidence for the day of judgment [with assurance and boldness to face Him], because as He is, so are we in this world.
There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love’s complete perfection].
We love Him, because He first loved us. (1 John 4:16-19 Amp)
In this the love of God was made manifest (displayed) where we are concerned: in that God sent His Son, the only begotten or unique [Son], into the world so that we might live through Him.
In this is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation (the atoning sacrifice) for our sins.
Beloved, if God loved us so [very much], we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:9-11 Amp)
Who shall ever separate us from Christ’s love? Shall suffering and affliction and tribulation? Or calamity and distress? Or persecution or hunger or destitution or peril or sword? (Romans 8:35 Amp)
For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers,
Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39 Amp)


May Christ through your faith [actually] dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your hearts! May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love,
That you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God’s devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of it];
[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]! (Ephesians 3:17-19 Amp)
Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us. (Romans 5:5 Amp)
Behold, 1 have indelibly imprinted (tattooed a picture of) you on the palm of each of My hands. (Isaiah 49:16 Amp)
1 John 4:16 is a key scripture for me because it says that we should be conscious and aware of God’s love and put faith in it. I was unconscious and unaware of God’s love; therefore, I was not putting faith in His love for me.
When the devil condemned me, I did not know how to say, “Yes, I made a mistake,” then go to God, ask for His forgiveness, receive His love, and press on. Instead, I would spend hours and even days feeling guilty about each little thing I did wrong. I was literally tormented! John tells us that fear has torment, but that the perfect love of God casts out fear (see 1 John 4:18). God’s love for me was perfect because it was based on Him, not on me. So even when I failed, He kept loving me.
God’s love for you is perfect---and unconditional. When you fail, He keeps on loving you, because His love is not based on you but on Him. When you fail, do you stop receiving God’s love and start punishing yourself by feeling guilty and condemned? I felt guilty and bad about myself for the first forty years of my life. I faithfully carried my sack of guilt on my back everywhere I went. It was a heavy burden, and it was always with me. I made mistakes regularly, and I felt guilty about each one of them.
In Romans 8:33-35 the apostle Paul says:
Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect [when it is] God Who justifies [that is, Who puts us in right relation to Himself? Who shall come forward and accuse or impeach those whom God has chosen? Will God, Who acquits us?] Who is there to condemn [us]? Will Christ Jesus (the Messiah), Who died, or rather Who was raised from the dead, Who is at the right hand of God actually pleading as He intercedes for us?
Who shall ever separate us from Christ’s love?
The devil’s goal is to separate us from God’s love, because God’s love is the main factor in our emotional healing.
` We are created for love. In Ephesians 2:4-6 Paul says that God is so rich in mercy that He saved us and gave us what we do not deserve, in order to satisfy the demands of His intense love for us. Think about it. God intends to love us. He has to love us---He is love!
You and I are created for love! Sin separated us from God, but He loved us so much that He sent His only Son, Jesus, to die for us, to redeem us, to purchase us back, so that He could lavish His great love upon us. All we need to do is believe what the Bible says about our relationship with God. Once we do that, the healing process can begin.
During the first year that my husband Dave and I began our ministry called Life In The Word, the Holy Spirit worked with me to teach me about God’s love. I kept a book of remembrance of special things the Lord did for me during that time---little things mostly, personal things that showed me that God cared. By this method I began to become more conscious of His unconditional love. It helped me to remember that God loved me.
If you can believe that God, Who is so perfect, loves you, then you can believe that you are worth loving.
Once you believe that you are accepted and loved by God, then you can begin accepting and loving yourself. Then not only will you start loving God in return, you will also start loving other people.

You CAN’T GIVE AWAY WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE!
Many people receive Jesus and then immediately start trying to love everybody. Too often they end up feeling condemned because they find that they just cannot do it. It is impossible to truly love others without first receiving the love of God, because there is no love there to give.
In 1 Corinthians, chapter 13, often called “the love chapter,” Paul emphasizes this truth quite clearly. In the first verse he defines love as “(that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such as is inspired by God’s love for and in us).” This entire chapter is focused on teaching us how to walk in love, yet it clearly says that love must first be in us.
Most people can believe that God loves them when they can feel that they deserve it. Problems arise when they feel that they do not deserve God’s love, and yet desperately need it.
The following charts illustrate the ongoing effects of receiving or not receiving the love of God. Notice that the belief that God’s love for us depends on our worthiness is a deception that causes many problems in our lives. On the other hand, believing that God loves us unconditionally brings much joy and blessedness.

RECEIVING GOD’S LOVE
Determine in your heart that you will receive God’s love. Here are some practical suggestions to help you do that. These are all things that I believe the Lord led me to do, and I believe they will be of help to you too. However, remember that we are all special and unique and that God has an individual, personalized plan for each of us. Don’t get lost in methods.

The Trickle-Down Theory of Unconditional Love
Jesus loves me, this I know.
He loves me unconditionally.
THEREFORE: His love for me is based on Who HE is.
THEREFORE: I have not earned His love, nor can I earn His love.
THEREFORE: I cannot be separated from His love.
When I obey Him, He will bless me.
When I disobey Him, there will be consequences for my behavior. He may not like my behavior, but He always loves me.
THEREFORE: Since I have experienced God’s love, I know I am lovable.
THEREFORE, since I know that God loves me, I am able to believe that there are people who could love me too.
THEREFORE, I am able to trust people who genuinely love me.
THEREFORE, I am able to accept the love that those people give to me.
THEREFORE, since my most basic need for love and a sense of self-worth has been met by God, I don’t need to be “fixed” by other people.
THEREFORE, although I have needs that I look to other people to meet (i.e., companionship, affection, fun), I believe those needs are balanced and God-given. I try to be honest in assessing those needs and in asking for what I need.
THEREFORE, I expect other people to be honest with me. I can handle criticism or confrontation, if it is done with love.
THEREFORE, since I know that I am God’s special and unique creation, I know that the love I have to give is valuable.
THEREFORE, I do not feel that I have to “perform” for other people. Either they will love me for who I am, or they won’t. It is important for me to be loved for who I am.
THEREFORE, I am able to get my mind off of what others are thinking ABOUT ME and focus on other people and THEIR NEEDS.
THEREFORE, I am able to sustain a healthy, loving, lasting relationship.

The Trickle-Down Theory of Conditional Love
Jesus loves me, but...
He loves me conditionally.
THEREFORE: His love is based on my performance.
THEREFORE: I have to earn His love by pleasing Him.
THEREFORE: When I please Him, I feel loved. When I do not please Him, I feel rejected.
THEREF0RE: If God, Who is “all-loving,” does not always love, accept, and value me, how can I be expected to believe that I am valuable and lovable?
THEREFORE: I do not believe that I am basically a lovable, valuable person.
THEREFORE, I am not able to trust other people who say they love me. I suspect their motives or figure that they just do not know the “real” me yet.
THEREFORE, I cannot accept love from other people. I deflect it. I try to prove that I am right---that I am NOT lovable, and that they will eventually reject me.
THEREFORE, they usually do.
THEREFORE, I use the world’s standards (money, status, clothes, etc.) to prove to others and myself that I am VALUABLE. I need strokes and feedback from other people to prove to myself and to others that I am LOVABLE.
THEREFORE, I need a “fresh fix” of strokes every day just to get through the day feeling good about myself.
THEREFORE, I look to others to give me something that only God can give me---a sense of my own SELF-WORTH.
THEREFORE, I place impossible demands on people who love me. I frustrate them. I am never satisfied with what they are giving me. I do not allow them to be honest with me or confront me. I am focused on me, and I expect them to be focused on me too.
THEREFORE, since I do not love who I AM, I do not expect that others will love me either. Why would anyone want something that has no real value?
THEREFORE, I try to earn their love by what I DO. I do not give out of a desire to love, but to BE LOVED. Most of what I do is tied up in “self,” so the people I profess to love do not really feel loved. They feel manipulated. I am trying to avoid rejection rather than trying to build a loving relationship.
THEREFORE, I am not able to sustain a healthy, loving, lasting relationship.

These are things I suggest you do to help you receive revelation concerning God’s love for you:
· Tell yourself, in your mind and out loud, “God loves me.” Say it, and let it sink in. Repeat it often: when you awake in the morning, when you go to bed at night, and throughout the entire day. Look at yourself in the minor, point to yourself, call yourself by name, and say, “--------God loves you.”
· Keep a diary, a book of remembrance, of special things that God does for you. Include little things as well as major things. Read over your list at least once a week, and you will be encouraged. Let this become a Holy Ghost project. I think you will have fun with it, as I did.
· Learn, and even commit to memory several scriptures about the love of God for you.
· Read some good books about God’s love. I recommend that you start with the ones I have written called Tell Them I Love Them, and Reduce Me to Love.
· Pray for the Holy Spirit, Who is the Teacher, to give you a revelation of God’s love. (36-46)

* tRUST & OBey the LORD *

I'm going to write a poem

I'm going to write a poem
Something nice and sweet
Perhaps something to talk about
Perhaps something to feed

But when the ink runs dry and all summer is wet
I still dont think my words are far enough fetched
To whom am i writing to
And what will i bring
All the awesome chariots cannot hold down this feeling



* tRUST & OBey the LORD *

Mark Schultz

Mark Schultz \ When You Come Home

My first day of recess
They all laughed at me
When I fell off the swing set
And scraped up my knee

The nurse called my Momma
To say I'd be late,
And when she gave me the phone
I could hear Momma say
"I'm so sorry, son.
Oh I think you're' so brave"

And she was smilin when she said:

When you come home,
No matter how far,
Run through the door
And into my arms
It's where you are loved,
It's where you belong
And I will be here
When you come home

I waved good-bye through the window
As I boarded the plane,
My first job in Houston
Was waiting for me

I found a letter from Momma
Tucked in my coat
And as I flew down the runway
I smiled when she wrote:
I'll miss you, son,
You'll be so far away

But I'll be waiting for the day

When you come home
No matter how far,
Run through the door
And into my arms
It's where you are loved,
It's where you belong,
And I will be here
When you come home

Well, I don't think
She can hear you now,
The doctor told me
Your mother is fading,
It's best that you leave

So I whispered,
I love you
And then turned away.
But I stopped at the door
When I heard Momma say,
I love you, son,
But they're callin me away

Promise me before I go

When you come home,
No matter how far,
Run through the door
And into my arms;
It's where you are loved,
It's where you belong,
And I will be here
When you come home,
When you come home.

Artist: Mark Schultz
Album:
Song: Letters From War

Lyrics :

She runs to the mailbox
On that bright summers day
Found a letter from her son
In a war far away

He spoke of the weather
And good friends that he'd made
Said I'd been thinking 'bout dad
And the life that he had
Thats why I'm here today
And that the end he said
You are what I'm fighting for
It was the first of the letters from war

She started writing

(Chorus)
You're good and you're brave
What a father that you'll be someday
Bring him home
Bring him safe

She wrote everynight as she prayed

Late in December
A day she'll not forget
Oh her tears stained the paper
With every word that she read

It said I was up on a hill
I was out there alone
When the shots all rang out
And bombs were exploding
And thats when I saw him
He came back to me
And though he was captured
A man set me free
And that man was your son

He asked me to write to you
I told him i would oh I swore
It was the last of the letters from war

And she prayed he was living
Kept on believing and wrote every night just to say

(Chorus)
You're good and you're brave
What a father that you'll be someday
Bring him home
Bring him safe

Then two years later
Autumn leaves all around
A car pulled in the driveway
And she fell to the ground
And out stepped a captain
Where her boy used to stand

Said mom I'm following orders
From all of your letters
And I've come home again
He ran into hold her
And dropped all his bags on the floor
Holding all of her letters from war

Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home



Mark Schultz \ Do You Even Know Me Anymore

“Its cold tonight”,
I heard her say.
She was staring out the window as I came home late.
She tried to smile,
But looked away.
Oh but I could see the tears were running down her face.
She said “You go to work,
You pay the bills,
I stay at home,
And I make the meals.

But you dont even know who I am anymore,
Youre a million miles away,
Though I see you every day.
And Ive been waiting right here,
Over all these years.
And sometimes I get so lonely,
I need to know you love me,
But do you even know me anymore?”

I turned around,
To see my son.
Well I remember his first birthday. Now hes 21.
I missed his life,
I missed it all,
Oh to him I was a man just living down the hall.
He said “I learned to live,
Without you Dad,
But Id give it all
Just to have you back.

But you dont even know who I am anymore.
I used to wait at all my games,
But still you never came,
And Ive been waiting right here,
Over all these years.
For the time you said youd owe me,
I wanted you to show me,
But do you even know me anymore?”

Ive watched my days,
Turn into years,
And now Im wondering how I wound up here.
I dreamed my dreams,
I made my plans,
But all I’ve built here is an empty man.

And I dont even know who I am anymore.
God Im praying through the tears,
Let me make up all these years.
Oh have I waited too long?
Can I start again?
To be the man Youve wanted of me.
Im begging You to show me,
But do You even know me anymore?



Mark Schultz \ He's My Son

I'm down on my knees again tonight
I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right
See there is a boy that needs Your help
I've done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired
I'm sure You can understnad
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand
And she tries not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes

CHORUS:
Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone
He's my son

Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep
I dream of the boy he'd like to be
I try to be strong and see him through
But God who he needs right now is You
Let him grow old
Live life without this fear
What would I be
Living without him here
He's so tired and he's scared
Let him know that You're there

CHORUS

Can You hear me?
Can You see him?
Please don't leave him
He's my son



* tRUST & OBey the LORD *

SOARING LIKE EAGLES

Before you read, i would like to thank Aaron for passing this to me during cf camp at peacehaven.. I think these lessons are relevant for all you eagles out there..

6 Lessons From Eagles

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31

Have you ever wondered why Isaiah 40:31 is written the way it is?

Q 1 :: Why is the Eagle mentioned specifically?

Q 2 :: What so special about Eagles that they have a place in the Bible?

Q 3 :: What is the linkage between waiting upon the Lord and renewal of strength?

Q 4 :: Why is it that when you mount up with wings like eagles, you do not get tired?

Read on and you will find the answer.

The eagle is a creation of God. It is the most majestic of all birds and is mentioned many times in the Bible. In fact, the eagle is mentioned 38 times, much more than the dove or other birds.

An eagle is around 90cm tall and reaches over 2m between the wings. She builds her nest on the cliff or in a high tree. The nest is so large that a human can sleep in it. It can weigh 700kg and is also comfortable.

With the basis of God's Word, we shall see what the king of birds can show us concerning truths about God, and also about Christians. May the pracital lessons contained here be of encouragement to you. God Bless.


Lesson 1 :: All Baby Eagles Must Learn To Fly

High in the mountains, a baby eagle is born. Like all other babies, there are two things that baby eagles, known as eaglets love to do: Eat and sleep. The baby eagle would spend its initial life in the comfort of the nest. Everyday, mama eagle would find food and drop it directly into the open mouths of the hungry eaglet. With a satisfied stomach, the eaglet then goes to sleep and the cycle continues when it becomes hungry again.

This goes on for a few weeks, until one day, mama eagle would just hover over the nest. This time, there is no food. After hovering a few rounds, mama eagle would make a dive into the nest and begins to shake it violently. She then takes one of her babies in her mouth and starts soaring into the skies. The baby eaglet begins to tremble, "Mama is mad! Mama is mad!". Suddenly she drops the baby eaglet that starts to struggle. Just before the eaglet smashes againt the rocks, mama eagle would sweep down and pick it up. This goes on for about five to eight times. The eaglet starts to wonder why mama is doing this. Every time it is being froppwed from the sky, the eaglet would streggle by flapping its wings.

"Mama can fly. I want to fly liker her too!" the eaglet says to itself.

What a beautiful picture! Mama is teaching her young to fly. At about the fourteenth of fifteenth try, the eaglet begins to fly.

Relevance :: Christians are like baby eagles, comfortable in the nest. They come to church once a week to find food. They would wait for pastor to drop "spiritual" food into their mouths. When the service is over, they would go home, "sleep" for a few days and the cycle continues, until one day, something happens and they streggle. The nest gets shaken and they dont know what to do.

"Its the devil! Its the devil!" they exclaim. No, its not! Its just our loving Father who allows our nest to be shaken because He wants us to grow into maturity, so that we can fly. Its no point being an eagle that cannot fly.


The Word of God says in Exodus 19:4 that God bare the children of Israel on eagles wings. Here we see the eagle symbolises God, The way mama eagle treats her young shows us how God treats His children. Just when it seems like were going under.. SWISH.. like mama eagle, God, comes and picks us up.

In the world, they pish people upward when they are going up. But God lets us fall down to get us up. Hard times come, but after a couple of times I start to pray a little bit more, I start to read God's word a little bit more. And suddenly I realise that the answers to my prayers are coming.

hard times always come but I find Im not helpless, no, I see that I can stand on Gods word. What has happened? Ice learned to spread my wings! Ive learned to fly. GOD carries us supernaturally through all our trials, even if we dont feel it. Yea, who can see the wind. While mama eagle teaches her young to use their own wings, God teaches us to believe His Word and use our Faith.


Lessons 2 :: Eagles Are Made For The High Places

Unlike other birds that fly in the lowlands, eagles are made to fly in the high places, out of sight of the naked human eye and out of range of the hunters rifle.

Relevance ::
God made us to fly in the high places, free from the worlds control. A tourist to the Jurong Bird Park once commented that the eagles there looked very clean. In reply, the bird keeper said: "When eagles are in freedom, they are the cleanest birds. But when they are in captivity, they are the dirtiest."

God made us pure and holy to conform to the image of His Son. If Christians are in captivity, that is, being subjected to the ways of the world, we can be there "dirtiest" of all creatures. Unless we "fly" in the high places, out of the worlds control, and according to how God has made us, well maintain the dirtiest of creatures.


Lesson 3 :: Eagles So Not Fly, They Soar

Eagles do not fly like other birds, flapping their wings profusely and using their own strength. Instead, eagles SOAR majestically, making use of the wind currents to gain height. What makes the eagle so special is that she sits on the rock and reads the wind and when the time is perfect she takes off and soars upward with her great wings. There is a special up-going wind where the eagle rides the wind and circle high and higher toward the sky, without effort. She just spreads her wings.

Relevance:
The wind is referred many times in the Bible as the Holy Spirit. We can learn to cooperate with the Hily Spirit and let Him lift us closer to Jesus. The eagle in this case is the Christian who is being lifted by the Holy Spirit up and closer to Jesus.

Like eagles, we should learn to ride on the current of the Holy Spirit, instead of relying on our own strength. Only then can we "gain height" to "fly" in the high places. Isaiah 40:31 talks about growing in Christ, that happens when we have fellowship with Him in the Spirit.


Lesson 4 :: Eagles Go Through Specific Periods Of Renewal

When they are about 60 years old, eagles go through a period of renewal. An eagle would find a secret place up in the mountains. It would start to claw at its face and tear out the feathers that have been damages over the years. As a result, it would bleed badly. The eagle would then wait patiently for the rays of the sun to heal it.

Through this, the eagle renews its strength by getting rid of the unnecessary things. Otherwise it would not be able to live till 120 years that it normally does.

Relevance ::
Like eagles, Christians need to go through a renewal period sometime in our lives to rid ourselves of the unnecessary things and to wait upon the Lord. Renewal is a divine principal where God cuts off the unfruitful things in us so as to bring out the fruitful.


Lesson 5 :: Eagles Get Sick, Just Like Humans

When an eagle gets sick, it does not go to the doctor. It simply finds a favourite spot in the mountains and await the rays of the sun to heal it. The sun plays a major role in the life of an eagle and as such, is a major source of healing too.

Relevance ::
When we get sick, besides going to the doctor, do we also look to the Lord who plays a major role in our lives as our source of healing?


Lesson 6 :: Every Eagle Has To Die

When an eagle is about to die, it will fly to its favourite spot in the mountains, wraps its wings round itself and look at the suns rays and dies.

Relevance ::
Ideally, all Christians should die looking towards Jesus as our source of hope and comfort.


Isaiah 40:31 -- "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."



* tRUST & OBey the LORD *

Anna's Sleepin Song

CHORUS ::
Im gonna eat eat eat
Im gonna drink drink drink
Im gonna eat
Im gonna drink
Im gonna sleeeeeep
When the bed is open wide
Im gonna sleep at Jesus side
Im gonna eat
Im gonna drink
Im gonna sleeeeep

VERSE 1 ::
Im gonna march on around that bedroom
See my pillows and blankets before
Im gonna sit at the edge of the mattress
Where we meet to fart and snore

CHORUS 2 ::
Praise Him
Praise Him
Praise Him in the moonlight
Praise Him in the night time
Praise Him
Praise Him
Praise Him when the stars goes down



* tRUST & OBey the LORD *