Bad Dream

I had a bad dream,.. normally most of my bad dreams are running away from someone and trying to save myself and my friends, but when i have a bad dream that has nothing to do with running away from someone, it normally impacts me alot, because its different..

Normally, the other type of dreams I have are the ones where those who are closest to me leaves me.. and this is just what happened in this dream. And when i dream something like this happens, something similar will happen the next day regarding these people.. (or am I just being sensitive? I have no idea..)

But in this dream, i dreamt that two of my closest friends left me. It happened like this... I was talking to one of them about something that meant alot to me, when he suddenly dissapeared.. then i saw him on his knees, playing with one of the other guy friends, saying "please.. please.. where is she?", a few feet from me.. so i was wondering.. I wonder which girl he is talking about.. must be someone special.. then as i watched, there she was like at the other end of the hall, carrying a baby.. i didnt know who she was, but when he saw her, he called for her and ran after her.. so out of curiosity and surprise, i watched along with a few other friends,.. then i found out that there were two of them, each having a child in their arms, both with long straight hair, tied half. They were petite and fair. They both looked alike.. because i cant see from so far away, but i know one wore a white short sleeve blouse and the other wore a darkblue one, i think. And then i managed to point to one, because they were all running all over the place, and it was hard to spot them from so far, blocked by the plants and chairs, and asked someone nearby.. "Who is that?" and that someone said, "It's the girl's mother.." then i was like... "ooh.." At first, i was hesistant to follow, but since everyone was following, it did no harm for me to go as well.. so i went, not expecting to be much more shocked later on..

We entered a big room used for lectures.. seemed to me we were in some kind of a school or college.. and there were alot of people there.. until now i dont know if it was a hall or a room,.. it was so big and the place was so confusing.. but it was darker and was crowded because it was smaller than the main hall.. and it was more stuffy here, but i guess they resorted to this place because it was more private compared to the main hall.. and then at the far end, there were rows of chairs, yellow plastic ones, like you see in the bus stations, for the public to sit on, screwed to the floor.. and there he was at one of the ends, sitting down with two kids in his arms... the rest of us just watched from a distance. He was partially blocked by a pillar.. so i couldnt really see what was going on at first. But i noticed the two ladies were standing nearby him and there he was hugging the two kids like he missed them so much,.. and he was crying gracefully.. the two kids just stoned, hugged him too and didnt want to budge, they didnt move and inch. They just wanted to stay there.. I know one was a boy, but i dont know if the other was also a boy or a girl.. one darkblue shirt, one white. And then i heard someone near said something like "Those are his kids.." and i was so shocked.. now i realized who is that girl.. the question kept ringing in my head.. is that his wife? so i asked those nearby, but until now, they didnt really take notice of me.. they took notice of each other, but didnt care about me.. it was okay i guess.. because i was in a state of shock already.. if that is not his wife, then that means... he had kids without getting married? why dont they want to get married? even if they did a sin, they should get married.. unless... she is already married??.... or she married someone else? all these questions were in my head.. but when i saw them there on that chair.. i was so moved.. all this time he didnt tell us that he had kids.. he kept everything to himself, even close friends like me didnt know.. and it is obvious that he missed them,.. yet he had to.. why? is it because he wanted to study? get a degree and then he can support his kids? all the time, he kept it all to himself..the heartache.. everything, and he can even laugh and joke with us.. i just stared and tried to understand the hurt and yet there was no bitterness.. somewhere at the back of my mind, there was a question i didnt ask myself in the dream, but i know the question was there.. why were the two ladies not talking to him? why were they standing instead of sitting next to him?.. lets come up with an answer.. since this is a dream and dreams are meant to be probed.. maybe she does not belong to him although the children belong to him? maybe she is married to someone else? maybe she doesnt like him.. doesnt respect him and doesnt want to marry him although he is the real father? and maybe she has another boyfriend somewhere else with other kids? and he doesnt mean anything to her.. but it was obvious that these were definately his kids.. too obvious. But i was touched with what i learnt.. the fact that he chose to miss his children in order to study so that he can generate income for his children.. and miss them for so long.. it was a hard but strong decision.. and the fact that he could hide his identity and sufferings away from us all and he could act like he was happy and all, when he actually had alot that he left behind.. too much.. i dont know why this impacted me, and i was so shocked... i just stared and didnt know what feeling it was inside me.. but now i know.. it is sadness.. i felt sad when i saw it.. touched and sad for him.. he didnt have someone to support him. yet, he had to support his kids with all he's got. he didnt have friends to support him, because he never told us and we never knew.. and now he even chose to abandon his friends to leave them out of his misery.. when i was talking to him, he just left without saying a word, and ran after his kids... if i didnt look for him, i probably didnt know about this either..if i didnt follow him all the way down here to the basement, where it is dark and crowded and stuffy and dirty, i wouldnt know either.. if i didnt try to find out what he was doing and stare and watch, i woulnt know what was happening.. if i didnt hang around with the rest and open my ears, i wouldnt know what was happening.. at that time, i thanked God in my heart that i didnt just walk away and didnt care about what was going on.. I thank God i took the effort to run after them and find out the story... the true story.

and then here comes the sad part.. other than the fact that i almost got lost.. i went to look for my second friend.. and i asked him,"did you know what happened?" because i dont remember seeing this friend at the basement justnow.. and surprisingly my friend answered, "yes, i know about it." so i was like... "how did you know?" and he was like.. "somebody told me about it" and so, as i was still in a state of shock.. i just stood next to him for a while,.. tried to cool down myself.. but it was doing no good.. then he asked.. "are you sad?" then i said, "no.. just in a state of shock.." then he went off... but i wanted to get my brain sorted out.. i was confused,.. so i guess he was going to Level 1, we were at Level 3 now.. Level 1 is the basement.. but he was going to the other side of Level 1, near the cafeteria.. so i wanted to get my sliperrs... i realized that i was bare footed and assumed i left it when i was chatting with my friends near the cafeteria, and so i went there, but since i knew that he was going there, i didnt want to make it look like i was following him, so i took the elevator.. the other side of Level 1.. the basement side.. and this was how i got lost.. never saw my second friend again. and it was getting late, and i was alone, and i couldnt find my slipper, and those that still remained in the school were unfriendly to me.. and it was getting more quiet there.. i was scared.. and there was a cleaner who did help me, but later i realized that it was the wrong room anyway and had to apologize.. such heartache.. i loved that slipper so much.. there were other shoes and slippers there.. but not mine.. i kept asking.. "anyone seen my slipper?" it is half white and half black.. sigh.. i hoped to see one or two friends.. but no one was there..

but this dream taught me a lesson.. a hard lesson.. never depend on your friends too much.. you might get dissapointed because friends can leave you anytime.. and your slipper which represents material things can also get lost.. the ability to make friends can also just vanish just like that, and i can be alone, with no one to love me or care for me in my greatest need and greatest time of trouble.. i was alone.. i need God.. God will never leave me, and God will never get lost and God is always there to make friends with me and to bring the right people in at the right time.. If i have GOD, I will have everything.. friends, slippers, and all..

* tRUST & OBey the LORD *